Family fussbudgets gain less-than-glowing spotlight

The Hawaii GOP got a rare turn in the spotlight but wilted in the glare as we “flASHback” on the week’s news that amused and confused:

>> The state’s fading Republican Party held an annual convention marked by factional infighting over how to overtake the Democrats. It was like Abbott and Costello squabbling over how to outnumber the Marx Brothers.

>> State GOP chairman David Chang told the convention that he recently watched all six “Rocky” movies for inspiration on fighting back as the underdog. The difference is, Rocky Balboa didn’t take his hardest hits from his own corner.

>> Sen. Donna Mercado Kim denied she sought special treatment when she asked University of Hawaii President M.R.C. Greenwood to look into her son’s law school application. Of course Kim didn’t; for our legislators, expectation of privilege is ordinary, not special.

>> Kim said she didn’t know what else to do as a mother to find out if her son had applied to the law school, asking, “I mean, who could I have called?” Her son, perhaps?

>> Mayor Kirk Caldwell insisted the City Council needed to raise taxes or cut services to balance the budget, but council members said they achieved fiscal balance without doing either. In our local government, the definition of “balance” is as variable as the definition of “ethics.”

>> Councilman Stanley Chang can’t practice law after he let his bar association dues lapse, but the congressional candidate said he doesn’t need a legal career because he plans to make public service his life’s work. That’s a novel campaign appeal: Elect me or I’m on welfare.

>> The city is studying how to merge fare collection between the bus and the new $5.26 billion commuter rail line. It’ll probably work like the old system at Disneyland: an “A” ticket for the bus and an “E” ticket for the train.

>> Hawaii’s public schools got a waiver from strict federal rules on reading and math proficiency and will focus more on preparing students for college and careers. There must be colleges and careers for which you don’t need to know how to read or do math.

>> After first reporting that carbon dioxide emissions causing global warming had reached a historic 400 parts per million, the Mauna Loa Observatory revised the number to 399.89. Whew, that’ll give us a week longer before we have to grow gills and learn to breathe underwater.

And the quote of the week … from former Lt. Gov. James “Duke” Aiona on his plans for the future: “I’m not saying ‘no’ and I’m not saying ‘yes’ to running for governor in 2014. That’s not a political answer. That is an honest answer.” Isn’t it a shame there has to be a difference between the two?

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Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.