Holiday hope for domestic violence victims

The approaching holidays are a time of joy for many, but can also signal despair for Hawaii families affected by the serious problem of domestic abuse in our community.

Many of us experience the normal stress of the hustle and bustle of the season, and may also feel financial stress in trying to provide gifts to loved ones, but in families either at risk for family violence or in which domestic violence has already occurred, these stressors can have dangerous consequences.

Imagine having to choose between homelessness for you and your children or staying in a household where you and your children are being abused. For thousands of women in Hawaii, this terrible choice is one they have to make.

One in four women in Hawaii will be victims of abuse in their lifetime, and the problem is actually worse than we think because many victims will not report or seek help.

Domestic violence is a problem that disproportionately affects women, but there are male victims as well. Male victims may, in fact, be less likely to come forward to seek help, as is also the case for male victims of child physical and/ or sexual abuse.

A comprehensive approach that provides a continuum of services can produce life-changing results for Hawaii’s families. At Child & Family Service, we are one of the largest human services nonprofits in our state and work with victims, survivors, perpetrators and children.

A high percentage of children living in families where there is domestic violence are not only witnesses but often victims themselves. Domestic abuse hot lines offer 24-hour access to help when it is needed most.

Emergency shelters where victims and their families can stay up to 90 days, and sometimes a little longer, offer important places of safety for families in crisis. Child & Family Service has two shelters on Oahu and two on Hawaii island. And there are other organizations that operate shelters on Oahu, Kauai, Maui and Molokai.

However, lasting change requires more than temporary shelter. We operate three transitional housing programs on Oahu and Hawaii island to help families to build skills necessary for self-sufficiency.

Women receive housing, support, case management, job-training assistance and financial literacy training, covering budget management, building credit or improving credit scores. We give the residents time to heal, refocus and ultimately put their lives back together.

Families can participate in the program for two years, with six months of follow-up services. Many survivors who have stayed in our transitional housing have built new lives for their families. Many of their children have a sense of peace, safety and hope for the first time in their lives. These children no longer live in fear.

Many survivors leave abusive relationships, and there are also men who take responsibility for their violence and stop the behavior so that the family can stay together in safety.

There is hope with adequate services, but there is more we need to do. Domestic-violence funding cuts in 2009 and 2010 have only been partially restored.

Hawaii island, for example, had a 40 percent reduction in funding that was offset by some rainy day funds for one year, but these funds have run out.

It is our hope that during this very busy holiday time, our community will know that there are a variety of services out there to help families and individuals — but also that there is so much more we need to do as a community to provide needed resources to both prevent and treat the trauma of domestic violence.