After a long, emotional ride, she says she has no regrets

Part 2 of 2

If destiny was a real thing, Hieu Pham knew it was her destiny to marry John Stuart.

They had met when Pham was working at a Vietnamese restaurant in Virginia and Stuart, an IT manager for General Motors, was a hungry customer with no idea how to order off a Vietnamese menu.

"He was beautiful, strong, handsome — an ideal man," Pham says.

Their first date was on Oct. 16, 1998. A year to the day later, Stuart proposed to Pham. A month later Stuart was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer in his spinal cord.

"John wanted me to return the ring and call off the engagement," Pham recalls. "I said there is no way. I told him I loved him and wanted to marry him."

The couple wasted no time, flying to Hawaii for a Dec. 23 wedding at Aloha Tower in front of Pham’s family.

Stuart’s initial prognosis indicated that he had six months to live, but neither he nor Pham was willing to give up on their shared dream of having children and growing old together.

The couple exhausted their savings pursuing rigorous treatments at elite medical facilities in New York, Virginia, Maryland and Cali­for­nia. When those failed, they borrowed money from friends and family and traveled to Mexico, France, Switzerland, Germany and Italy for alternative treatments.

Stuart died Feb. 3, 2003, more than three years after his initial diagnosis. Hieu Pham Stuart moved back to Hawaii awhile before returning to Virginia to continue her education at Hollins University.

Though heartbroken by the loss of her husband, Stuart enjoyed the college life, studying psychology and competing against coeds 10 years her junior in tennis and soccer. She also found success in flipping houses, earning enough to erase the debts she and Stuart incurred during his illness.

But then Stuart was forced to confront her own health crisis when an unusual rash signaled a life-threatening plunge in her blood platelet levels. Unable to identify a cause, doctors prescribed chemotherapy and other intensive drug therapies before essentially throwing up their hands in bewilderment.

Stuart returned again to Hawaii to be with her family. While here she underwent treatments to stimulate her bone marrow. After 14 months her condition stabilized enough for her to risk a last-ditch surgical procedure on her spleen.

The surgery was successful, and within three months Stuart, who was at one point too weak to stand on her own, was fully recovered.

Since then Stuart has devoted herself to pursuing her dreams without fear. She works as a counselor for the iCan program at Kapiolani Community College, helping students succeed in college and the working world. She has plans to pursue a Ph.D. Most important, she is now the mother of 19-month-old Kanon Allen.

"He’s the love of my life," Stuart says. "Everything I went through in my life was worth it. I have no complaints, no regrets. I love him more than anything."

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Check out #IncidentalLives on Twitter. Reach Michael Tsai at mtsai@staradvertiser.com.