Maui native expands the reach of the Hawaii State Coalition Against Domestic Violence

The Hawaii State Coalition Against Domestic Violence, a statewide partnership of programs and shelters, took shape nearly four decades ago. The nonprofit’s new executive director aims to tap its resources to further magnify the voice of the abused and focus community attention on efforts to keep victims safe.

When launched, the coalition’s services consisted of only shelters and advocacy to support them, said Stacey Moniz, formerly a Maui-based coalition member. “Over the years, we expanded to include offender services, youth services, children’s services, legal services, community education and interventions, public policy and legislative work.”

Under her leadership, Moniz said, the coalition will now more frequently turn its attention to social justice matters. “We are realizing that we cannot effectively work against domestic violence without … engaging with the other social challenges facing our communities. We have to get back into the grassroots and find solutions that are community-based, community-driven.”

In small communities where there are scant resources, community members become the resource, Moniz said. “I’d like to see us engaging the entire state, community by community to end domestic violence. I’d like to create community ambassadors who are trained extensively … to work with their communities to find solutions. We need to stop letting domestic violence happen and start interrupting it.”

Moniz, a Maui native with some three decades of professional experience, has first-hand experience as a victim of domestic violence. Married shortly after high school graduation, by age 21 she was fleeing, with two young children in tow, from her abusive ex-husband. Even after divorce, she said, abuse continued for about three years. For the past 16 years, she has served as executive director of Maui’s Women Helping Women, a nonprofit that offers shelter and various services.

Endeavoring to address large-scale issues, Moniz has served on the board of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, and testified locally to help pass federal legislation reauthorizing the Violence Against Women Act. She points to local strides, though, such as opening a shelter on Lanai last year, as her top professional accomplishments.

“I feel the legacy I left on Maui was in bringing the issue of domestic violence to the community … so it could help and make a difference. I’m also proud of the extensive renovation of the Maui shelter, during which hundreds of volunteers raised funds and in an epic public-private partnership completely renovated the shelter. Labor unions, tradesmen, artists, interior designers, retired dentists, you name it, they came to help.”

QUESTION: How has the handling of domestic violence issues in the islands changed over the years?

ANSWER: In the mid-1980s we had no mandatory arrest laws for what was called “spouse abuse.” Law enforcement response was to separate the parties, calm the abuser down and suggest they take a walk to cool off. Thankfully, we did have shelters and we also had grassroots organizers … calling domestic violence a crime and demanding that something be done about it.

Today we have mandatory arrest, specialized units in police departments and prosecutor’s offices nationwide. We have the Violence Against Women Act that appropriates funds for training for everyone from advocates to law enforcement to judges. The VAWA funds everything from legal services to housing to culturally specific interventions — all extremely helpful in the work to end domestic violence.

Sadly, though, … we still have victims who don’t call the police or go to shelters or reach out for help. While there are more laws and protections than there ever were, we still have immigrant victims who might get deported if they call the police for help. … We put the burden on the victim to save herself rather than accept responsibility as a community to help keep victims and their children safe from harm.

How are we going to truly end domestic violence? … It will take everyone shifting the social norms. Where everyone, in every area of life, sends a consistent message that domestic violence is unacceptable.

Q: How do advocacy groups such as the coalition gauge the prevalence of domestic violence?

A: It’s highly under-reported for many reasons. Each September, the National Network to End Domestic Violence does a census that includes each state’s numbers for one day. … Even with only 50 percent of Hawaii programs reporting their statistics for that day, our numbers are high. (The latest count: 447 victims served in one day, with 59 hotline calls).

We also survey victims coming into programs, and over half of them will say they have never called the police. Police report thousands of cases each month. So, if you extrapolate those two statistics, there is a lot of domestic violence happening in Hawaii. National statistics say that 1 in 4 women will be abused by an intimate partner in their lives.

Q: Since March, when you became the Oahu-based coalition’s leader, the island has seen three cases of heartbreaking fatalities linked to domestic violence. What’s the response?

A: Why isn’t our phone line ringing off the hook with outraged caring citizens wanting to help? Why aren’t we marching in the street? Coming from a neighbor island, in smaller communities … the impact feels closer and each neighbor island that experiences a domestic homicide holds vigils and memorials and sign-holding. Expect that we will do the same on Oahu, even if it’s just our tiny staff out there holding a sign.

Q: Most of us associate domestic violence with physical abuse. But there are other, less obvious, forms?

A: Emotional, psychological, spiritual abuse can leave long-lasting scars. It’s a form of torture — constant jabs at your character, your looks, your intelligence, who you are, how you parent, how you look. The person who is abusing you knows your most intimate secrets, turning that into a weapon. Financial abuse, especially with the high cost of living, is the No. 1 reason victims stay.

There are housing funds for victims who need support when they choose to leave abusive partners. There’s financial literacy training, and we often direct victims to job training courses or to school to increase their ability to support themselves and their family. The coalition also supports efforts at creating affordable housing, rental subsidies and increasing the minimum wage.

Q: The Honolulu Prosecutor’s Safe House for female victims of domestic violence, sex assault and human trafficking is a flashpoint for criticism because it provides secured shelter in exchange for a woman’s testimony against an abuser. What are your thoughts on that program, which started about nine months ago?

A: I always welcome any new ideas to help create safety for victims and their children. But as a former domestic violence shelter director for 20 years I can tell you that this safe house is not following best practice models of support for victims. I know the focus of the safe house has changed over time and continues to change. However, I have grave concerns for safety and support for survivors who will live in this safe house. There are no solutions for victims with children, which make up half the cases of domestic violence. … I am absolutely willing to help navigate a different course based in evidence-based models and victim-centered expertise.

Q: What do you find most and least satisfying about your work?

A: The toughest part for me, especially over the long arc of time, is that our community still doesn’t value women’s lives the way I wish we did. Community perspective still blames victims and makes excuses for abusers. It is thrilling to teach a new prosecutor or detective and hear them become advocates for victims, too, but frustrating when … a new person shows up and the training begins again.

The best part is seeing new advocates born of the training and knowledge we share with the community every day. To hear stories of how our programs have helped and changed the lives of survivors and their children. To see a loophole closed on a defective law or to see a new law championed that adds greatly needed protections for victims and their lives.

My intention every day is to make a difference.