UH assistant reveals true self in letter to team

The letter is extremely well written and poignant. But the gist of the eloquent prose can be boiled down to the two-word second paragraph:

“I’m gay.”

Andre Fraticelli is a 22-year-old University of Hawaii psychology major born and raised here who played first base at Castle High and then Sierra Junior College in California, before transferring to UH last year.

As the fall semester starts, so does Fraticelli’s second year as a UH baseball student-assistant.

“He’s a great kid, always smiling,” Rainbow Warriors coach Mike Trapasso said. “Shows up every day ready to help prep for practice. He’s always engaged with what’s going on. I could see him as a coach someday.”

Last spring Fraticelli came out to the team because, in his words, “I can’t fake it one more day. Not one more.”

He also asserted that it would make him better at his support role for the team.

“On the doorstep of what I think will be an awesome season for us as a family and as a team, you deserve the best of me,” he wrote. “Now, and only now, can I give that to you.”

The letter drew some national attention when it appeared in SB Nation’s OutSports section, which focuses on gay sports figures. The Huffington Post picked up the story.

UH baseball coaches and players reacted with support. The first person he saw after the letter was published was senior outfielder Marcus Doi, whom Fraticelli had played against in high school.

“He said, ‘We’re here for you.’ Everybody was great. It was, ‘Andre’s gay, OK, now back to business.’ That’s exactly what I wanted. No awkwardness, no walking on eggshells,” Fraticelli said.

Fraticelli had met with Trapasso and assistant athletic director Amanda Paterson, whom Fraticelli also credits for support, prior to the publication of the letter.

Trapasso said after Fraticelli told him he is gay, “I told him, ‘Thanks, I’m sure that wasn’t easy for you.’ But then I said, ‘No offense, and not to downplay what you told me, but let me ask you this: Are you going to class? Are you on track to graduate?’ The answers were yes. That’s the important thing for our student managers, and our student-athletes.”

Fraticelli said that before coming out he had lived with constant anxiety and depression.

“Battled it since I can remember. I was bullied since sixth grade,” he said in a recent interview. “I think the hardest thing was people seemed to know before I knew. Every day you go to school knowing someone is going to say something, about the way I walk, the way I talk.”

It led to alcohol abuse and thoughts of suicide.

“There was only one escape I could see at the time, and I wouldn’t have been around to realize that I am gay, that being different is OK, and people still love me,” he wrote.

Fraticelli is an only child but comes from a large extended family, including five uncles on his father’s side who were all athletes (including UH assistant coach Carl Fraticelli). One of them, John, was a football player and class president at Kalaheo. He also happens to be gay, and is a source of support.

“Especially coming from a baseball family with a well-known family name and (his father) Rocky being a teacher and coach it made it even more important for people to know it’s all good and nothing’s different, ” said Teresa Fraticelli, Andre’s mother. “It’s good for parents to see that Rocky and I are supportive of our gay son and, if anything, are even more proud of him now.”

Rocky Fraticelli is the baseball coach at Castle (he coached Andre there).

“I didn’t have any reservations,” he said. “It was, ‘Son, I still love you and will always love you.’”

There’s a growing community of athletes and others who work in sports who are openly gay. Fraticelli exchanged messages of support with former NFL offensive lineman Ryan O’Callaghan when O’Callaghan came out in June.

Fraticelli is also often in contact with Billy Bean and Kirk Walker, whom he counts as friends.

Bean (not to be confused with Billy Beane of “Moneyball” fame) is a former major league outfielder who came out in 1999 and in 2014 was appointed as MLB’s first Ambassador for Inclusion.

Walker is an openly gay UCLA assistant softball coach.

“I never knew how many people were like me. I felt completely alone,” Fraticelli said. “And that’s really not the case. That’s my main message. I never want anyone to feel the way I felt.”

Reach Dave Reardon at dreardon@staradvertiser.com or 529-4783. His blog is at Hawaiiwarriorworld.com/quick-reads.