Da kine 5 Things We Love care package edition

Aftah reading some of my earlier finds, lotta Hawaii expatriates been telling me for try give their parents and friends suggestions for alternative kine stuffs dey can put in their care packages, cuz dey tired of receiving da same old flat-rate boxes filled with Kona coffee, unusual Spam variations and li-hing powder. So here get five alternatives.

— Lee A. Tonouchi, aka “Da Pidgin Guerilla,” special to the Star-Advertiser

I wen take-a-notice that lotta Neighbor Island people, when dey visit Oahu, dey like for bring back See’s candy for omiyage, cuz their island no more. So imagine how nostalgic it would be for Neighbor Islanders who moved away to da continent for receive this special See’s Candies assortment in an exclusive Hawaii gift box, $10.75 for 7.5 ounces. Going remind them of home with da flavors of Cocoanut Special, Kona Mocha and more. See’s has stores at Ala Moana Center, Kahala Mall, Pearlridge Center and Kapolei Shopping Center.

Lotta local people, soon as dey return to da islands, before dey even reach home, their first stop is Zippy’s. So for former Hawaii people who miss Zippy’s, I suppose you could be sending them some frozen Zippy’s chili via express mail, but das kinda expensive. And while your loved one might crave Zippy’s fried chicken, you can’t really be mailing that. Das why I thought wuz kinda trippy that they sell da mix for da batter now. So you can just mail da mix and tell dem for go make their own. Great DIY gift for college peoples who you feel should be learning how for cook anyway. Buy for $8.25 at Zippy’s restaurants.

Wuz da custom for da past couple years for Hawaii locals for bring back Trader Joe’s Cookie Butter to give away as presents. But now Hawaii has its own coveted butter. While we have many fruity type butters, Kona Coffee Butter “Spread” seems for be da one catching on with da tourists. Perhaps this spread, infused with 100 percent Kona coffee, spun off from da internet trend of mixing butter into your coffee. I only ate ‘em so far with cracker and toast, but my friend been saying tastes really outstanding with pancakes. Available at ABC Stores for $9.99 for a 5-ounce jar.

These T-shirts and hats by Laha‘ole Designs features a silhouette of a Hawaiian island with da word “Home” on top da island. Tanya Uyehara designed versions for Oahu, Kauai, Molokai, Lanai, Maui and Hawaii island. Da reason why this makes da perfect care package gift is because, ultimately, das our dream — right? — for our loved one, who we keep buying stuffs for, to one day return home. No let dem forget their roots. It’s one really simple design, yet it conveys one very powerful message. Men’s tees and trucker hats are $25 and women’s tees $27 at Homegrown at Pearlridge Uptown; lahaoledesigns.com.

This going be da next big thing — trust me. Basically this is just all da chocolate byproduct, da reject nibs and shell parts, but das what I like best about Manoa Chocolate: Dem, dey no waste nahting. Da nice owner man, Dylan Butterbaugh, wen let me sample their Chocolate Tea. And I wuz quite impressed. Wuzn’t sweet or heavy like hot chocolate. Wuz like drinking da essence of chocolate in both da literal and spiritual sense. One very unique and refreshing beverage. It cost $12.50 for a 7-ounce bag at Manoa Chocolate Hawaii, 315 Uluniu St., Suite 203, in Kailua or manoachocolate.com.

Lee A. Tonouchi is one Pidgin author and playwright who lives in Aiea.