FlASHback: Fuzzy thinking and fights fail to rouse bored voters

It’s the last Sunday in September and time to “flASHback” on the month’s news that amused and confused:

>> Circuit Judge Jeff Crabtree allowed voting on a constitutional amendment for an education tax even though it’s not as clear as he’d like and doesn’t mention the word “tax.” What’s a Hawaii election without a trick question?

>> The teachers’ union said the tax could bring in up to $400 million a year to pay its members more, but key legislators doubt it would yield more than $50 million. Not until the union makes its next round of campaign donations, anyway.

>> The Federal Transit Administration said the city’s $8.16 billion rail budget is $134 million short, but rail executive director Andrew Robbins insisted it’s a misunderstanding. The language of rail finance is forked tongue.

>> Mayor Kirk Caldwell used the federal scolding to press the City Council to pass his bill allowing property taxes to pay for rail construction, saying lawmakers “need to step up and do what’s been committed and promised.” Except, of course, for his old promise to never use property taxes to build rail.

>> After warning 10,000 residents they might have to evacuate as rain from Tropical Storm Olivia filled Nuuanu Reservoir, the city said there was never really any danger. Aren’t there remedies for premature evacuation?

>> At a GOP unity event, lieutenant governor candidate Marissa Kerns cursed about her seating and ripped the record of Republican gubernatorial candidate Andria Tupola. This is the worst unity ticket since The Scorpion and the Frog.

>> Tupola lashed out at Democratic Gov. David Ige for declining her challenge of six televised debates across the islands. He would be rude to interrupt while Republicans debate among themselves.

>> President Donald Trump has only 28 percent approval in Hawaii, but he beat Ige and Caldwell at 26 percent each and the Legislature at 21 percent in a poll by the UH Public Policy Center. Our voters would elect toe fungus.

>> U.S. Sen. Brian Schatz introduced legislation to promote increased federal government use of artificial intelligence. It certainly would be an improvement over authentic ignorance.

>> UH researchers got a $1 million grant to study Waimea Valley’s microbes, which they said shouldn’t be called germs. Microbes are sensitive, like parasites that don’t like to be called politicians.

>> A WalletHub poll named Honolulu a top 15 fun city, based on entertainment, nightlife, parties and cost. Respondents must have been drunk from the parties before they got to the question about cost.

>> Legendary Pictures will begin filming “Godzilla vs. Kong” in Hawaii next month. It’s a docudrama about the 2018 election.

And the quote of the month … from UH student Mike Lilly at a campus political event: “Most students can’t even commit to apathy because they are so apathetic.” They’re almost ready to take their place as Hawaii voters.

Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.