Positively Young: Good manner bring joy to many

Can common courtesy really inspire joy? Think about these scenarios you may have experienced: Someone waves or gives you a shaka after you allow them to cut into your lane on the highway. A stranger holds the door open for you. A grocery clerk sincerely wishes you a nice day.

These miniscule mannerly niceties that sweeten your day have a cumulative effect on your disposition.

The shaka on the highway is sign language for “I appreciate your help.” The stranger who holds the door for you communicates “I see you and I care about your passage.”

On the flip side, rudeness from strangers can ignite anger into road rage or spark a shopping confrontation over the last jug of water for sale during a storm.

Here are a few simple manners that impact others far more deeply than you may realize.

>> Say thank you often: Make it a habit to utter these two powerful words with waiters, your family and the bank teller. Reviving these words is a game changer as a “mahalo” makes others feel good and moves your mind to an elevated state of gratitude.

The next time you are standing at the Starbucks counter pay attention to how many customers pause to say thank you to the barista as they grab their coffee and go.

Also, adding “please” is a great when making any request.

>> Watch your words: Say “my pleasure” instead of “no problem.” It common to say “no problem” these days, but to do so subtly implies that there was a problem, and you are negating the exchange. What you accomplished with this expression is neutral exchange at best.

The popular phrase is meant to convey “it was no trouble at all,” however, if you substitute “my pleasure” or “you’re welcome” it just has a better connotation for those on the receiving end.

>> Stop talking: When someone speaks, listen intently. This is not easy to do, but gets easier with practice. That also means silencing the shouting in your head. Too often we aren’t listening when others are sharing. Instead, we are preparing what we will say next or cutting someone off all together to get in our words.

>> Belittle no one: If it’s not complimentary, refrain from commenting on other people’s physical characteristics. Patting someone’s beer gut or joking about someone’s weight gain is not funny to people who are struggling. Even saying something about someone being “too skinny” may be hurtful to someone who has trouble keeping on weight. In fact, do not make fun of anyone for any reason ever, even if you think it’s all in jest.

Manners are not customs of grandma’s generation. They are incredibly relevant and priceless in today’s increasingly crowded world where anxiety runs high. They play a major role in daily happiness. Think of manners less as rules and more as a way to create happier, kinder relationships to foster the gentler community we all deserve to live in.