A kinder, gentler time: Readers share thoughts

Just a jacket, but so much more

I was dropping off my car at Dillingham Boulevard for repairs the next, when I saw a homeless man lying down by the door of the establishment. It was raining at that time, and windy, too. He had clothes on him but he was barefoot and was shivering. I had a hooded jacket on me. I gently tapped his shoulder and offered my jacket. He beamed and his eyes lit up. He simply said, “thank you very much.”

It was the most profound and heartfelt thank you that I ever received. I took the bus home with joy in my heart. It may not have been much, but I felt goodness in my heart. It was just a jacket, yes, but I think for him, it meant something more.

Alberto Jalalon

Ewa Beach

Lifetime moment in holding a hand

Now that I’m in my senior years I find myself looking back on my years of adventure and accomplishments. These thoughts bring back a time of life’s gratefulness and worthiness.

I can remember a time when I was a young firefighter and responded to call. When we got to the scene there was an elderly gentleman well beyond 85 years of age lying on the floor. As I knelt next to him he reached for my hand and with his eyes directed my eyes to all the pictures and mementos that surrounded his room and walls. I saw his whole life in those pictures and mementos.

Pictures of his boyhood, world travels, adventures as a young man, his wedding with his beautiful wife, family portrait with their young toddlers and photos over the years surrounded with grandchildren.

As I looked back at him, I found myself thinking out loud, “What a wonderful life.” He smiled and squeezed my hand as to thank me as tears ran down the side of his eyes and to let me know, “It’s OK, I had a good life,” then his hand went limp. It was then that I realized how honored I was to be here and how comforting and powerful holding someone’s hand can be.

Capt. Ray Sheldon

Retired, Honolulu Fire Department

Kaaawa

Little gestures bring lots of joy

Kindness — just thinking about it and having it personally, brings tears to my eyes. “Kindness is my religion.” Dalai Lama. “Every act of kindness is an angel experience.” Billy Graham.

I’m a senior citizen who is blessed beyond measure. Kindness has punctuated my life so many times that it’s my “album of memories.” The euphoria that I felt extends to others when I share my experience. I call them my “humble pie” episodes.

When someone isn’t smiling, give ’em one of yours. Complimenting a worn-out cashier. Directing a stranger to take your space in a parking lot. Small gestures that leave a big impact in your heart.

I’m hoping kindness is contagious. I pray for an epidemic. There is so much chaos and turmoil nowadays. We don’t need more laws or regulations. We need kindness. It’s free. It’s a “spiritual vitamin shot.”

My mom’s words of wisdom: “No matter what color, religion or status in life one holds, it’s what comes from the heart.”

Merry Christmas and God Bless!

Mary Siegert

Aiea

Paying things forward, via books

The December Book Fair at Aina Haina Elementary School is not only a fundraiser for the library, but a much-anticipated activity for excited students. Alas, some students were observed browsing for what seemed like hours, only to leave empty-handed because they couldn’t afford it. In 2016 under Lions president, Phil Sharp, the group paid for books for students selected by school counselors.

Every year since, The Lions pay $25 per child to 20 deserving students. The Lions dress in yellow vests, welcome each student and assist them with book choices. It is an act of kindness that our students will hopefully pay forward someday.

That someday came earlier than expected this year, as several students not only selected books for themselves — but in an act of kindness, chose a book for their sibling.

Gary Nip

President, Koko Head Lions Club

To be kind is to think beyond self

Pay attention. See, listen, think. Every day there are opportunities to “do good,” to help, to make a difference and bring “happy” to people. People do this all the time; I see it.

I saw it in the gym when a large old guy came into the workout room using a cane. He was decked out in athletic shoes and it was clear this was his first time in the gym. He looked bewildered and uncertain. A younger man went over and introduced himself and then described the machines and the equipment. The younger guy was not a trainer, just someone who took the time to make it easier for the newbie at the gym.

This took just a few minutes; some kindnesses take even less time. The guy who tosses the newspaper closer to your door as he walks by, the driver who makes a point of moving out of a parking spot quickly when another driver is waiting for the spot, the door openers, the patient shoppers in line behind slow cashiers and shoppers, the woman who spontaneously compliments a stranger on a hat or a cool pair of glasses.

The “pass it on” philosophy is alive and hopefully growing. It’s great to receive and pass on a food bill at a restaurant, but it’s also great to compliment the wait staff and chef, offer a chair to someone, and dine quietly and not interrupt anyone else with loud talking or cell phones.

To be kind is to think beyond yourself. Let’s all be kind.

Connie Oliva

Kailua

Love shines between mom, kids

Several years ago, a woman was told that her mother forgot how to do a certain task which she learned as a child. Despite of this, mother is very kind, humble and mild. At times she’s bold, yet she has a heart of gold.

Mother has her two youngest children living with her. Daughter is her full-time caregiver.

Mother does have a memory disease. Daughter does her best to put mother’s mind at ease.

Mother’s main concerns are making sure there’s enough food and the need to cook, especially at dinner time. Daughter always tells mother please don’t worry. Everything is fine.

Mother doesn’t remember if she ate or what she ate. But she always wonders how her son is while working or staying out late.

To mom, her children will always be her babies. God has blessed them with a very beautiful lady.

Merry Christmas, mom. We love you.

Alexis M. Liftee

Nuuanu

Handle things with gentleness, optimism

1. Every day is a blessing from God. Do not waste it. Do something positive; not just for yourself but for others, too.

2. Love is the glue that keeps a relationship together. If it is removed, the relationship starts falling apart.

3. Kindness is a gift we all possess. It becomes powerful when we use it.

4. Always handle things with gentleness. This way, fragile things like friendships won’t be damaged or broken.

5. Anger is a human reaction. It usually happens when we don’t have our way.

6. Forgiveness is a godly trait. It shows grace, mercy, and compassion.

7. We all make mistakes. This is how we learn.

8. Look ahead to life with optimism. Do not dwell in the past, but learn from it.

Clarence Chun

Kalihi

Vegetarians, vegans show Earth kindness

I am thankful for vegetarians and vegans because they show kindness toward animals. In addition, they show kindness toward the Earth because a plant-based diet requires much less land for growing food for an equal number of people.

John Kawamoto

Kaimuki

Remember, it’s the law to have Aloha Spirit

Lucky we live Hawaii, eh? 2018 has demonstrated why we are rightly called the “Aloha State.” We are mercifully spared the bitterness and violence that 2018 has seen on the mainland. And yet we have been tested mightily, with widespread devastation with one after another weather “events” — windstorms, floods, the volcano — which then saw neighbor helping neighbor, stranger helping stranger, with aloha.

Now is a good time to remember that for more than 30 years, citizens and elected officials alike are actually governed by a Hawaii legislative statute to be kind to one another. Kindness, as agreed upon by those wise legislators of 1986, is the essential ingredient of aloha/love.

In dry official language that wrestles with the deep emotions it tries to convey, Hawaii Revised Statute 5-7.5 (b) reads, in part:

“Aloha Spirit” is the coordination of mind and heart within each person. It brings each person to the self. Each person must think and emote good feelings to others. In the contemplation and presence of the life force, “aloha,” the following unuhi laula loa may be used:

A — Akahai, meaning Kindness, expressed with tenderness.

L — Lokahi, meaning Unity, expressed with harmony.

O — ‘Olu’olu, meaning Agreeable, expressed with pleasantness

H — Ha’aha’a, meaning Humility, expressed with modesty.

A — Ahonui, meaning Patience, expressed with perseverance.

Sandy Hall

McCully-Moiliili

Fulghum’s wisdom to kids good for adults

A reprinting of Robert Fulghum’s classic essay, “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten,” summarizes the behavior of kindness that young children can practice today and into their behavior as adults.

It was part of the guiding philosophy and legacy of my wife, Mim Lang, a kindergarten teacher for 24 years at Kailua Elementary School.

Here’s a truncated rundown of Fulghum’s wise list:

1. Share.

2. Play fair.

3. Don’t hit people.

4. Put thngs back where you found them.

5. Clean up your own mess.

6. Don’t take things that aren’t yours.

7. Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.

8. Wash your hands before you eat.

9. Flush.

Melvin Lang

Professor emeritus of education

University of Hawaii at Manoa