Tuesday, November 24, 2015         


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Candidates wishing, hoping, planning, thinking, dreaming

By David Shapiro


There's no problem a good plan can't muddle as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused:

» Gov. Linda Lingle said Hawaii will be on the path to recovery and a stronger future when she leaves office in December. It's amazing what some people can accomplish just by leaving.

» The Democratic candidate to succeed her, Neil Abercrombie, followed his plan for a new Hawaii with a plan on how he'll implement his plan. Why am I reminded of Mike Tyson's warning that everyone's got a plan until they get punched in the mouth?

» Abercrombie also had a plan for the role his running Brian Schatz would play in his administration. It's kind of like the role Tattoo played on "Fantasy Island." Schatz would proclaim, "The plan, boss! The plan!"

» Not to be outdone, Republican rival James "Duke" Aiona unveiled his own plan for affordable housing. Eight years of free housing in the governor's mansion is about as affordable as it gets.

» Aiona said Abercrombie disrespected voters by taking a week's vacation after the primary election, and Abercrombie retorted that the lieutenant governor has been on vacation for 7 1/2 years. I can't tell whether they're campaigning on the high road, the low road or the road the chicken crossed.

» Democratic congressional candidate Colleen Hanabusa said her GOP opponent, U.S. Rep. Charles Djou, is misleading voters with a TV ad suggesting she doesn't think there's waste in government. She thinks Djou is a total waste.

» Hanabusa said she'll leave her West Oahu resort digs and move into the 1st Congressional District she'd represent if she unseats Djou. Maybe her developer friend Jeff Stone will ease the transition by building a Ko Olina East.

» The political rumor mill has former Honolulu mayor and defeated gubernatorial candidate Mufi Hannemann considering a run for the City Council seat that Todd Apo is leaving. Talk about hitting bottom. It would be like Napoleon running for the Waterloo Neighborhood Board.

» The American Bar Association told U.S. senators it backs the Akaka bill for native Hawaiian recognition. Duh. This law will produce enough litigation to keep the legal profession busy for decades.

» "Hawaii Five-0" producers can't crack the case of a thief who's been stealing property from the film set. Aha, you knew that Steve McGarrett's arch nemesis Wo Fat would find a way to reappear.

And the quote of the week ... from Board of Education Chairman Garrett Toguchi on why he opposes a ballot initiative that would replace the elected school board with one appointed by the governor: "It's not as if the system is failing. The system is actually doing well." Take that as a true-false question and let your answer guide your vote.

David Shapiro can be reached at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.

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