Eloquence of our leaders never fails to spice the year

It’s time to start closing out 2014, so I offer 10 favorite news quotes that nicely framed the year:

» From former Gov. Neil Abercrombie: "We’re back, we’re on track, we’re in the black." It turned out that he forgot the most important part: "I’m getting sacked."

» From Honolulu Mayor Kirk Caldwell on signing the sit-lie sidewalk ordinance to discourage vagrancy: "(The bill) is about keeping our sidewalks open for people to do their business." I guess this one supersedes the anti-defecation ordinance.

» From since-defeated state Rep. Faye Hanohano after House Speaker Joe Souki reprimanded her for racist remarks: "It was so funny because even if I used the word ‘Jap,’ you know, which is prevalent in my, you know, local community, everybody understands but they don’t get offended." What she lacked in charm she made up for with ineloquence.

» From losing Republican candidate for governor James "Duke" Aiona: "You know when God called me, all he said was, ‘You will run.’ He didn’t say you were going to win. I just figured that one out." Lucky he doesn’t have to figure out the state budget.

» From Hawaii’s late U.S. Sen. Daniel Inouye, who was reported in a book to have once told fellow Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand of New York, "Don’t lose too much weight now. I like my girls chubby." It seems he billed himself as the "King of Pork" because he shared the DNA.

» From resigned University of Hawaii athletic director Ben Jay: "I thought I knew what I knew. … Honestly, if I knew more I may not have taken (the job)." You’d think a guy who doesn’t know that he doesn’t know would fit right in at our stumbling state university.

» From Foster Botanical Garden’s Scot Mitamura on the corpse flower’s stink of death: "It takes so much energy to produce the scent. The scent comes out in pulses and it also heats up." Kind of like the political ads running up to the election.

» From HBO comedian John Oliver on the Hawaii Legislature’s lax ethics: "In Hawaii, conflict of interest means both conflict of interest and not a conflict of interest — you know, like how aloha means both hello and goodbye." Unfortunately, Hawaii voters didn’t extend enough of the "goodbye" kind of aloha.

» From Honolulu Authority for Rapid Transportation board member Carrie Okinaga on raising rail CEO Daniel Grabauskas’ pay and bonus to $295,500: "We’ve found a leader who makes tough decisions, who makes lemonade out of lemons." Finally they admit we bought a $5.26 billion lemon.

» From our new governor, by way of introduction at the start of his inaugural speech: "My name is David Ige." What a relief; with his wooden delivery, I was afraid he was going to say, "I am Groot."

Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.