Money drives politicians, sometimes to the grave

It’s the last Sunday in May and time to "flASHback" on the month’s news that amused and confused:

» Gov. Neil Abercrombie gave a speech blasting the U.S. Supreme Court for lifting caps on billionaire campaign donors, then flew to San Francisco for a pricey fundraiser in his honor at the home of Oracle billionaire Larry Ellison. That’s our governor in a nutshell: empty words, full pockets.

» James "Duke" Aiona, the Republican candidate for governor, held a $50-a-head fundraiser at a Kaimuki restaurant. After expenses, he made enough for cab fare home.

» Independent gubernatorial hopeful Mufi Hannemann courted former University of Hawaii football coach Dick Tomey for his running mate, but Tomey withdrew over concerns about his residency. He hadn’tlived in Fantasyland long enough to fit the Hannemann campaign theme.

» State Sen. David Ige, Abercrombie’s Democratic challenger, got a warm sendoff from fellow senators, highlighted by a speech on calf castration by lieutenant governor candidate Clayton Hee. It described the likely working relationship between the two if they manage to get elected.

» State Rep. Romy Cachola is accused of misusing $52,000 in campaign funds to buy and maintain an SUV he put to personal use, while at the same time collecting a $250-a-month auto allowance from his previous job on the City Council. That’s the political version of pimping your ride.

» An unaccredited nonprofit controlled by state Rep. Rida Cabanilla received a $100,000 grant from her fellow legislators to keep up an Ewa cemetery that the city already maintains. She has one hand in the cookie jar and one foot in the grave.

» The Hawaii GOP’s state convention reaffirmed a limited-government platform called L.L.I.F.E. After passing resolutions that questioned global warming and supported nuclear power, oil drilling, coal burning and natural gas fracking, a better acronym might be C.U.C.K.O.O.

» Tripler Army Medical Center promoted early cancer detection by erecting a 20-foot inflatable colon for visitors to walk through. It was like wandering into a City Council meeting.

» As the city prepared to award $1 billion in new rail contracts, transit Deputy Director Brennon Morioka advised bidders that "just because they made the low bid doesn’t mean they are going to win." Also important is who made the high campaign contribution.

» UH faculty and students protested retired Army Gen. FrankWiercinski’s candidacy for university president, claiming he doesn’t understand "intellectual exchange." They demonstrated the concept by heckling and waving signs in his face while he spoke.

And the quote of the month … from Hee in announcing he’ll run against Lt. Gov. Shan Tsutsui: "I’ve made mistakes. There’s no question about that. And those mistakes I own. They belong to me." If he’s elected LG, they’ll belong to everybody.

Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.