State finances, lewd acts both come out in the open

The state is rolling in dough and lovers are rolling on the sidewalks as we plant tongue in cheek and "flASHback" on the week’s news that amused and confused:

» Gov. Neil Abercrombie said state finances are on the mend with 15 percent revenue growth and won’t slip back into the old sinkhole on his watch. The next recession will be a "New Day" sinkhole.

» Republican Linda Lingle said Hawaii’s traditionally Demo­cratic voters should elect her to the U.S. Senate to have "a foot in both camps" in Washington. She’s had practice alternating feet between the mouths of her moderate and conservative faces.

» Ed Case raised just $123,800 for his Senate campaign in the latest quarter, compared with about $1 million each for opponents Lingle and Mazie Hirono. That’s one way to shed his rich-boy image.

» A Mitt Romney surrogate said President Barack Obama doesn’t understand how the American system functions because "he spent his early years in Hawaii smoking something." Who can ever match the education the young Romney got on how things work by bullying gay kids?

» Critics contend that Hawaii’s Register of Historic Places has become a tool for the wealthy and well connected to get tax breaks they don’t deserve. In other words, it’s a typical state program.

» To help builders save time and money, Mayor Peter Carlisle said the city will soon accept construction plans for Oahu electronically. Now they’ll be able to pave over the island in half the time.

» The Sierra Club put off making an endorsement in the Hono­lulu mayor’s race because of a lack of "concrete plans" from the candidates. Somehow, it’s not reassuring that even environmental groups are demanding more concrete.

» Oahu voting machines were given a test run to make sure they’re counting accurately for next month’s primary election. The machines are a backup in case unexpectedly high voter turnout overwhelms poll workers’ fingers and toes.

» A judge called Kauai attorney Lawrence McCreery, 64, "a dirty old man" and fined him $250 for licking the ear of a 21-year-old female client. As if we needed another reason for lawyers to curb their tongues.

» Big Island police charged a Kailua-Kona couple with lewdness for allegedly having sex on a public sidewalk in broad daylight, and the woman spat and cursed when officers ordered her to get off. Some things can’t be rushed.

And the quote of the week … from Kirk Caldwell on his differences with mayoral rival Ben Caye­tano: "Voting for me and for rail is about a future that is different. It’s about walking into a sunrise. You vote for Ben, and you kill rail, you’re looking backward at a sunset." If this was a film festival, it would be "Mary Poppins" versus "Rooster Cogburn."

Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.