Disney cruise ship brings more characters into town

The circus left town, but the mouse was in the house as we plant tongue in cheek and "flASHback" on the week’s news that amused and confused:

» Mickey Mouse, Goofy, Donald Duck and other cartoon rascals sailed into town on a Disney cruise ship making its inaugural voyage to Hawaii. They got here just in time to fill the void left by the adjournment of the Legislature.

» The captain of the Disney ocean liner commands a crusty crew that includes Captain Jack Sparrow and Captain Hook. He must feel like Peter Carlisle trying to steer the city with Ben Caye­tano and Kirk Caldwell as back-seat drivers.

» One measure that didn’t make it through this year’s Legislature was a bill to designate an official state microbe. Lawmakers couldn’t agree on whether the honor should go to a House member or senator.

» Some state officials are up in arms at "The Simpsons" for making Hawaii the butt of jokes. What, they can’t take a little competition?

» Gov. Neil Abercrombie said he’ll mend fences with unhappy environmentalists by admonishing them that "they were not paying close enough attention; they ought to take a look at themselves." He was always dyslexic on the difference between mending fences and burning them.

» Abercrombie said he keeps taped to his desk a quotation from the poet Ralph Waldo Emerson that says, "Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience." Emerson also said, "Happy is the hearing man; unhappy the speaking man."

» More than 1,000 pain management specialists will be in Hono­lulu next week for the American Pain Society’s annual scientific meeting. Just the group to soothe Sen. Daniel Ino­uye’s hurt feelings that not everyone agrees with him.

» Honolulu transit CEO Daniel Grabauskas told Leeward Community College students that the $5.27 billion rail proj­ect will allow them to spend their money on books instead of gas. And once they graduate, they’ll spend their money on rail taxes instead of books for their kids.

» After leading the Hawaii State Teachers Association into chaos, Wil Okabe was rewarded by the teachers with another term at the helm of their union. Emerson again: "It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."

» City officials said it could take up to three weeks to figure out how to resubmerge a sewage pipe that has floated to the surface of the Ala Wai Canal. Like much of the city government, the pipe is being floated by overheated gas.

And the quote of the week … from Abercrombie to his critics: "Apparently you don’t know me very well at all. I have never been anybody’s rubber stamp. I’ve never been anybody’s reflection pool." He’s too busy being everybody’s mixed metaphor.

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Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.