Election engines revved up in weeks before the primary

With the election less than two weeks away, candidates are getting in their final licks and so shall we in our "flASHback" on the month’s news that amused and confused:

» Gov. Neil Abercrombie tried to revive his re-election campaign with a 15-minute TV movie on his life called "Buckets of Stars." By Cecil B. DeMille standards, it was more "Son of Paleface" than "The Greatest Show on Earth."

» His Democratic challenger, state Sen. David Ige, responded with a 30-second spot on his life called "Values." A half-minute was plenty of time for a legislator who has valued invisibility.

» Abercrombie described himself in a debate as the quarterback who led the state out of recession, but Ige said it was the Legislature that carried the ball. Let’s just say their combined record makes Norm Chow look good.

» Mayor Kirk Caldwell endorsed Abercrombie, touting the cooperative air they’ve cultivated between Honolulu Hale and Washington Place. Seldom has city and state dysfunction been so much in sync.

» The Hawaii State Teachers Association is helping out a cash-poor Ige with TV ads bashing Abercrombie. Teachers complain they don’t have money to buy school supplies, but they always seem to have money to buy elections.

» Lt. Gov. Shan Tsutsui turned down all invitations to debate his Democratic primary opponents. Avoiding engagement demonstrates his qualifications for a do-nothing job.

» U.S. Rep. Colleen Hanabusa was the aggressor as she pressed her campaign theme in three televised debates with U.S. Sen. Brian Schatz. In playground terms, her theme is: "He took my lollipop and won’t give it back."

» In rankings by the National Journal, Schatz tied with two others as the most liberal senators and Hawaii Sen. Mazie Hirono finished fourth. Hirono must have dogged it in the annual John Maynard Keynes fun run.

» The seven Democratic candidates for the 1st Congressional District were asked in a TV debate to give three words that described themselves. I thought their names said it all in one word: Grumpy, Sleepy, Dopey …

» Conservative pastors are under fire for preaching from the pulpit in support of GOP candidates who share their views against gay marriage. It’s become hard to tell if this election is about Democrats vs. Republicans or heretics vs. infidels.

» Getting away from politics, a maliciously plugged manhole spilled 103,000 gallons of raw sewage from Palolo Stream to Magic Island. Well, maybe that’s not really so far away from politics.

And the quote of the month … from Kirk Caldwell, on getting airport arrivals and their luggage from the Ala Moana rail terminus to Waikiki hotels: "We’re trying to figure this out. … We don’t have every answer today before it’s even completed." Planning would take all the fun out of building a train to nowhere.

Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.