flASHback: Officials heap their plates with buffet of messy ideas

Turkey Thursday and Black Friday were perfect preludes to “flASHback” Sunday as we review November’s news that amused and confused:

>> The City Council voted 8-1 to help fix the finances of Oahu’s $6.57 billion rail project by issuing $350 million in commercial paper. Rail finances are such a mess that it’s more of a job for toilet paper.

>> Mayor Kirk Caldwell said critics of his five-year extension of the rail excise tax are “lolo” for jeopardizing federal funds. This from the guy whose rail plan is to keep doing the same thing and expect different results.

>> Caldwell jetted to Washington, D.C., for a campaign fundraiser at a luxury Georgetown hotel, with suggested donations from $500 to $4,000. The price depended on whether you got a rail contract or only a subcontract.

>> Gov. David Ige set off a fierce community debate when he said he would welcome future Syrian refugees to Hawaii. It never hurts to have some problems in reserve in case we run out.

>> The state Board of Agriculture moved to make Hawaii the first state to ban wild-animal shows, which would effectively outlaw circuses here. The Ige administration doesn’t want the competition.

>> The state is building an online system to track sales and supplies of legal medical marijuana. It’ll be like the Obamacare exchange, except with a purple haze.

>> Hawaii’s state government got only a D+ for integrity in a national rating, but it was the fourth-best grade in our ethically challenged country. Now there’s a motto our state leaders can be proud of: “Our hauna stinks the least.”

>> The state plans to cool 11 of its downtown Honolulu buildings, including the state Capitol, with seawater. And climate change alarmists say we’re not prepared to live underwater.

>> The Department of Education is raising monthly rates for A+ after-school care by 40 percent over three years, blaming the higher minimum wage. The bad news is it’ll cost $35 more per kid. The good news is the kids will make more in the minimum-wage jobs they graduate to.

>> Hawaii ranks as the nation’s “least intelligent” state, according to an analysis by the Washington Post. Being called stupid by anybody in Washington insults our intelligence in more ways than one.

>> Hawaii consumers had to combine binge eating with power shopping as Black Friday crept further into Thanksgiving. It’s the one day of the year ordinary citizens get to feed and spend like elected officials.

And the quote of the month … from University of Hawaii spokesman Dan Meisenzahl after a UH satellite launch exploded and crashed into the ocean: “What happened today, this is a tremendous success for the University of Hawaii. … This is not a failure.” Now Norm Chow wants to be judged by the same standard.