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Saturday, October 25, 2014         

fl(ASH)back

Please enjoy some favorite holiday quotations as an expression of my yuletide wishes, or as Ogden Nash so beautifully put it, "Merry Christmas, NEARLY everybody."
Political wars extended from the courtroom to the TV screen as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused:
The last gasp of the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit starts us off as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
Some have a good APEC buzz and others are APEC-oplectic as we plant tongue in cheek and "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
I was on the Fort Street Mall enjoying my favorite acai bowl at Vita Juice when a fellow approached me and asked, "Are you the David Shapiro who writes the flashbacks column?"
Our elected officials, our homeless and our sewage all appear to be on the move as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
Gov. Neil Abercrombie is off on a mental health holiday to a governors meeting in Utah, but let's keep him in our thoughts as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
Some weeks are harder than others to make it past the sludge, so fasten your gas masks as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
Another Fourth of July is upon us, and what better way to honor our country than to carry forward the cherished American tradition of making fun of politicians with our "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
We go from political fights to knife fights as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
The same fellow who convinced me last week that our local political leaders should have their own wind names is now suggesting that we can also classify elected officials by the cartoon characters they bring to mind.
When I joked a couple of times that the "Big Wind" energy project was named after Gov. Neil Abercrombie, a reader suggested that if I'm going to call Abercrombie "Big Wind," then I should refer to Honolulu Mayor Peter Carlisle as "Little Wind."
For Saturday, June 4, 2011
With things relatively quiet at the Capitol, we shift our attention to the other side of Punchbowl Street as we “flASHback” on the week’s news that amused and confused:
The world didn't end and neither did the politics as we plant tongue in cheek and "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
Even thousands of shrinks couldn't explain some of the twists as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
Streetwalkers and street-talkers both drew official attention as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
The president's Hawaii connections and a farewell to the 2011 Legislature lead us off as we plant tongue in cheek and "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
A misperception about presidential conception brought national headlines for Hawaii as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused:
The old joke about the similarity between lawmaking and sausage-making could become reality as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
Presidential proclamations and legislative lamentations were among the top stories as we plant tongue in cheek and "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
Sen. Donna Mercado Kim's dubious assertion that the public doesn't understand how dire the state budget is inspired much creativity from "flASHback" readers, with more than 200 entries to our "How dire is the budget?" joke-writing contest.
We’ve got economic gloom aplenty and a joke-writing contest to tax the funny bone of budget writers as we “flASHback” on the week’s news that amused and confused:
The Legislature trimmed the number of bills under consideration to about 600 from 3,224, but the "all clear" siren has yet to sound as we "flASHback" on another week's news that amused and confused.
I was on a panel the other night in the old courtroom at the Judicial History Center when the acoustics got the better of my aging ears.
We avoided the big tsunami, but Gov. Neil Abercrombie urged residents to stay out of danger zones until he gave "competent authorization" to return. That could be a bit of a wait, so in the meantime we'll "flASHback" on the week's other news...
Well, the Kaanapali vacation is over with only memories left of the exposed flesh parading up and down the beach. So it's back to work for another "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused...
We'll depart from the usual fare and I'll leave you with some wisdom from the great minds about brothers and sisters.
I get tired of people grumbling that I never have anything good to say, so to prove I can play nice, I scoured the headlines for good news and we'll devote this week's "flASHback" only to stories I can say something good about.
The governor locks the Judiciary and legislators open the doors to an empty House as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
Hawaii is still basking in the glow of visits from the National Football League and the tea party as we once again plant tongue in cheek and "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
We have a tropical brew of parasites, prayers and peacocks to quench our thirst for the absurd as we place tongue in cheek and "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
Maggie and I celebrated our 43rd wedding anniversary (thank you, thank you) on my "flASHback" writing day, and it seemed bad form to observe the occasion by writing one-liners about Neil Abercrombie.
The political winds are gusting and the local job market is soaring as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
Let's take advantage of the lull before the Legislature to catch up on some of the other recent news that amused and confused.
Let's start the new year right by burying the hatchet, smoothing any feathers I've ruffled and inspiring our leaders to great things in 2011 with motivational thoughts from some of our finest minds.
Somehow it doesn't feel right to joke about the news on Christmas morning, so instead I'll mark the day by sharing with you some of my favorite quotations about the season.
The holiday lights provide a fuzzy glow as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
The coronation pavilion at Iolani Palace was center stage for this week's "flASHback" on the news that amused and confused.
We'll observe Gov.-elect Neil Abercrombie's Monday inauguration with a "flASHback" retrospective on his rise to the state's top job.
We've got a little politics, a little turkey and a little corn as we place tongue in cheek and "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
The "help wanted" sign is up, the donkeys are loose and the doctor is out as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
Gov.-elect Neil Abercrombie named a Maui events promoter to plan a series of inaugural festivities for him on all the major islands. He wants to send an early message that he won't let the previous administration out-Klompus him.
Let's give a "flASHback" welcome to our newly elected leaders as we plant tongue in cheek and feel the thrill anew on the week's news that amused and confused.
As candidates wrap up the 2010 election with their grand rallies, it's a good time for a grand "flASHback" to recap campaign moments that amused and confused.
Gubernatorial rivals James "Duke" Aiona and Neil Abercrombie pressed each other for details on how they'd balance the state budget. I keep confusing which candidate favors smoke and mirrors and which prefers shells and peas.
In the governor's race, a new TV spot for James "Duke" Aiona said Neil Abercrombie's Washington-style politics aren't OK "here in Hawaii." It might have scored some points if the ad wasn't produced and paid for by the WASHINGTON-BASED Republican Governors Association.
There's no problem a good plan can't muddle. Gov. Linda Lingle said Hawaii will be on the path to recovery and a stronger future when she leaves office in December. It's amazing what some people can accomplish just by leaving.
The state's eGov website mistakenly listed the general election date as Nov. 4 before correcting it to Nov. 2. Now the nonvoters who make up the majority in Hawaii are totally confused about when they're supposed to not show up.
Neil Abercrombie scored a surprisingly early knockout in the Democratic primary for governor, posting a 22-point win over Mufi Hannemann. If you were scripting this battle for the WWE, it would be like The Rock getting thrown out of the ring by Papa Smurf.
The city is taking sharp criticism for a $1.7 million transit contract that was partly used to produce an "idiot" version of the rail environmental impact statement. There they go again with those technical terms. Why not just call it the "mayor's copy"?
The state announced that bottomfishing is now open around Hawaii. What a strange way to say that primary election ballots have been mailed.
Hawaii voter registration for the Sept. 18 primary election hit a record high of 697,000, but the state Office of Elections is closing 97 out of 339 polling places. Election officials are advising confused voters to call 800-AINOKEA.
The governor's race is turning into a dizzying math contest as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
Mufi Hannemann and Neil Abercrombie got to ask each other questions for the first time in a debate before the Hawaii Publishers Association. Here's the transcript: "What, bodda you?" ... "No bodda me, bodda you?"
The Hawaii State Bar Association torpedoed Katherine Leonard in a secret vote and refused to disclose its reasons. The technical term for this form of justice is "drive-by shooting."
The talk was economics, but I wish the words had been more economical, as we once again plant tongue in cheek and "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
The candidates are in, the fight is on and the punches are flying as we set tongue in cheek and "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
I know we have enough Democratic candidates for lieutenant governor, but Wade Nobuhara noticed a sign for Rep. Joey Manahan off H-1 and saw a gubernatorial dream ticket: HANN-E-MAN-A-HAN.
It was a week of little progress toward a more civil union as we once again plant tongue in cheek and "flASHback" on the news that amused and confused.
It's getting difficult to tell the hypothesis from the reality as we plant tongue in cheek and "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
Gov. Linda Lingle put civil unions on her possible veto list, and the Business Roundtable put the bill on its stumble-around-looking-stupid list as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused.
Hawaii Sen. Daniel Inouye's big date with history starts us off as we plant tongue in cheek and "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused:
Welcome to the new home of "flASHback," a tongue-in-cheek review of the week's news. Moving is always stressful, but as a smart politician once said after surviving a vote, "If you have a choice between dying today or dying tomorrow, choose tomorrow."

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