Monday, July 28, 2014         


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Alongside budget butchery, an abattoir would be humane

By David Shapiro


The old joke about the similarity between lawmaking and sausage-making could become reality as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused:

» Hawaii would be the first state to own a slaughterhouse under a bill in the Legislature allowing the state to buy Oahu's only certified butchering facility. Lawmakers could proc­ess the pigs along with the budget, and the blood on the floor would all look the same.

» Legislators are pushing a bill to require "instant runoff" voting in some county elections. It's a ranking system in which voters' second and third choices are taken into account until a Dem­o­crat wins.

» Some 1,500 members of the American Pain Society will meet at the Hawai‘i Convention Center next month. They'll fill the void left by the adjournment of the Legislature.

» Police arrested three people in the case of bungling thieves who left a Wai­kele jewelry outlet in frustration after failing to break open the display case with a shotgun and a hammer. Gov. Neil Aber­crom­bie's budget team is studying the security video for clues on cracking the state's piggy bank.

» The city reduced the projected cost of its rail transit system to $5.3 billion from $5.5 billion. Planners decided that the loop-de-loops between Wai­pahu and Pearl City were more "nice to have" than "need to have."

» Three puppets that went missing from a Maui performing arts organization have been found. It turned out they were on Oahu being interviewed by Mayor Peter Carlisle for the Hono­lulu Authority for Rapid Transportation.

» Maui police are urging residents to fill out a "Disoriented Persons Identification Form" to make it easier to locate folks susceptible to getting lost. That's one way for voters to keep track of Mayor Alan Ara­kawa and the County Council.

» Also on the Maui police blotter, local publisher Tommy Russo claims he was assaulted by Duane "Dog" Chapman's security team when he tried to film the bounty hunter in a public parking lot — and then was assaulted again by a police officer he called for help. With his luck, he'll get a judge who believes in three strikes.

» Former Vice President Dan Quayle is reported to be visiting Hawaii this week. I say "reported" because this GOP icon never seems sure where he is. Quayle once said, "I love California; I practically grew up in Phoenix."

And the quotation of the week … in the form of a couple of delicious back-to-back tweets from U.S. Sen. Daniel Ino­uye.

First this: "Senator Ino­uye is grabbing a long john and other pastries from @LilihaBakery."

Then, 25 minutes later: "Senator Ino­uye is helping announce a $24.5 million grant for @UHManoa to study and combat childhood obesity."

Nothing says fitness like Cocoa Puff crumbs on your chin.

David Shapiro can be reached at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.

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