Thursday, November 26, 2015         


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Different sort of folks sought for state boards and sandbar

By David Shapiro


We go from political fights to knife fights as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused:

» Gov. Neil Abercrombie asked former Gov. Linda Lingle's appointees to resign from key state boards and commissions to clear the way for "A New Day in Hawaii." The prevailing response so far is that he should wait for "A Cold Day in Hell."

» The governor held a community meeting billed as a "conversation," but the audience was discouraged from talking and had to submit questions in writing. That makes it easier for him to listen with his lips moving.

» Japanese inventors have developed a torso-shaped contraption that gives you hugs when you're sad and blue and feeling picked on. Wouldn't it be nice if the state bought one for Abercrombie so Brian Schatz could get an occasional day off?

» As Abercrombie promises to bring Hawaii convicts home from mainland prisons, the state signed a new three-year contract to keep up to 1,900 of them there. It looks like for the prisoners it's going to be a "A New Day in Arizona."

» The Board of Land and Natural Resources passed an emergency rule banning alcoholic beverages and rowdiness on the Kaneohe Bay sandbar during three-day holiday weekends. Drunk and stupid will be reserved for regular two-day weekends.

» Mayor Peter Carlisle and the City Council appear headed to court in a fight over who will control the purse strings on Oahu's $5.3 billion rail project. Or more specifically, whose campaign donors will control the purse strings.

» Ko Olina developer Jeff Stone is hedging on his offer to donate 300 acres in Makaha Valley to Kamehameha Schools and the Department of Hawaiian Home Lands to provide education and affordable housing for the underprivileged. It seems the poor are as disposable as his $75 million aquarium.

» Hawaii Kai residents are up in arms that Foodland lost its lease in the Koko Marina Shopping Center to make way for a Walgreens, but the mall's owner is unmoved by the protests. Let them eat fast-acting gelcaps.

» An assailant was subdued and arrested after trying to stab Paul Brown, a 6-foot-6 football coach who has a side job teaching detention center guards how to fend off knife attacks. Nobody has picked on the wrong guy like that since Ed Case went after Dan Akaka.

And the quote of the week … from Big Island Mayor Billy Kenoi, who is also a lawyer, on his legal dispute with the County Council over the budget: "The law is clear. How can someone come up with a different opinion if the law is clear?" An attorney who can't spout at least 16 different opinions on any law makes a better living as a politician.

David Shapiro can be reached at or

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