When does a gentle parental nudge become a push, and then a shove?

Most parents with a child competing in organized sports might eventually face this dilemma.

One thing’s certain: No parent wants to lead their child down the road toward burnout.

According to Dan Gould, an expert in the field, burnout can be described as malady that caused "what was formerly enjoyable to no longer be enjoyable."

Gould, who was in Hawaii this past week for a conference, is the director of the Institute for the Study of Youth Sports and a professor in the Department of Kinesiology at Michigan State University. His research and studies have included psychological characteristics as sources of athletic stress and burnout in young athletes.

"First, we know that burnout is usually stress-related," he said. "So we discuss burnout as a reaction to long-term stress. Chronic stress over time."

In his studies, he said, "we’ve had kids 14-15 (years old) burn out. They’ve been playing since they were 5. Too much, too soon."

In one of his studies on tennis players, Gould said he isolated three strains that lead to burnout.

The first was physical.

"Just too much, not enough breaks, going year round. The kid is physically tired, (is) not eating enough, not sleeping enough," he said.

The second was more socio-psychologically driven, where the kid is a perfectionist, eventually stressing himself out.

"When people are perfectionists, they set high standards … they spend the day worrying about meeting those expectations," he said.

The third comes from pressure placed on the child from a coach or parent, where "the kid ends up resenting it."

Gould said, "some kids who burn out feel they’re entrapped. ‘I can’t quit because I don’t want to let (my) parents down.’ "

So what are the signs parents should look for? Gould said to watch for a mood shift.

"The kid used to love to go to practice. Now they don’t want to go. Sometimes you see they tend to slack," he said. "You’ll notice the change in the kid. They don’t seem so enthusiastic."

To avoid potential burnout, Gould offered the following:

"Every year you have a signup with your kid. You ask your kid if he wants to play again. If he says yes, then you tell him he has to commit to practices. Then after time off (after the season), you ask if he wants to play again next year."

He also suggested that under the age of 13-14, kids should avoid specialization and try different sports, which offers a different activity and a different coach.

"As a parent, focus on all the reasons kids participate — fitness, having a good time; winning shouldn’t be the primary focus. It shouldn’t be unimportant, either. But you’re thinking about long term.

"You want (your child) to fall in love with physical activity, so if they stop (playing competitively), they’ll still want to be physically active.

"Just because we put the kids in uniforms and they look like adults, they’re not adults."

Reach Curtis Murayama at cmurayama@staradvertiser.com.