Child Left Behind can ride on our paddy wagon buses

Even our computers are running on Hawaii time as we "flASHback" on the week’s news that amused and confused:

» Gov. Neil Abercrombie announced an ambitious plan to bring the state’s aging information technology systems into the 21st century. And if the state moves at its usual speed, it’ll be implemented sometime in the 22nd century.

» The Obama administration is doling out advice to public schools in Hawaii and other states on how to circumvent the federal No Child Left Behind law. When it becomes the work of government to work around its own laws, government isn’t working.

» Honolulu police have converted several city buses into paddy wagons, complete with metal cages, in preparation for the APEC meetings in November. I never doubted they’d find an appropriate way to transport the heads of state between Waikiki and Ko Olina.

» City archaeological digs at 232 sites along the planned rail transit route through Kalihi, downtown and Kakaako could disrupt traffic for up to 10 months. They’re looking for the remains of Mayor Peter Carlisle’s promise to keep politics out of rail.

» Illinois U.S. House candidate Tammy Duckworth was hosted by Abercrombie and Hawaii’s congressional delegates during a Honolulu fundraising visit. The economy must be improving if we can afford to buy other states’ politicians on top of our own.

» The teachers union lost yet another legal appeal in its fight to end pay cuts imposed by the state — this time before the Hawaii Supreme Court. It’s bleak when the only momentum the teachers see is on their lawyer’s meter.

» Jonah Kaauwai resigned as Hawaii Republican chairman after losing favor with former Gov. Linda Lingle and other prominent GOP figures. Is there anything more futile than a power play in a party that has none?

» The state Supreme Court ruled that divorced parents can be ordered to keep paying educational child support even after their offspring reach age 23. So it’s official: In Hawaii it pays to be a slow learner.

» Maui Mayor Alan Arakawa’s alleged statement that "kupuna don’t matter" in the fight over Lahaina Halloween festivities was countered by protesters with signs proclaiming, "Kupuna do matter." These are the kind of advanced political polemics taught at Wassamatta U.

» Hawaii’s first humpback whale of the season was spotted by a Hawaii island tour boat captain, more than a month earlier than the usual November arrival. He must have wanted to beat the APEC crowd.

And the quotation of the week … from Eunice Andrade, 83, on her disappointment over the suspension of bingo nights at Hickam: "The (bingo) games — this is the only enjoyment we get, especially for my age." She could always enter the Democratic primary for the U.S. Senate.

Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.