Jocelyn Conoly figures she had ample excuse to give in to the riptide of tough circumstances and poor choices dragging her farther and farther from the life she had envisioned for herself.
Her father died when she was 10 years old. After a turbulent adolescence, she got pregnant in high school and gave birth to a girl with a serious heart defect. Two years later she was working two, sometimes three jobs just to stay afloat. And that’s when she got pregnant again.
"I was really disappointed in myself for getting pregnant again before I finished college and accomplished what I had wanted," says Conoly, 21. "But I knew that I had to keep going so I would be able to take care of myself and my children. You can’t always help the situation you’re in, but you can control the outcome. That’s what I tried to do."
Conoly was born in San Angelo, Texas, and moved to Hawaii with her mother and two siblings shortly after her father — one of many lost to what Conoly calls a family "epidemic" of drug abuse — died of an overdose.
She struggled through her teen years, eventually being sent to live with her ex-stepfather in Pennsylvania. The arrangement didn’t last long, and soon Conoly was crashing with a friend of a friend.
In a pattern that would present itself throughout her young life, Conoly extracted something precious from an otherwise unfortunate situation.
"The girl I was living with was deaf," Conoly said. "So I learned sign language, and I became her interpreter whenever we went out. It gave me a passion for trying to bridge the communication barrier between people who are deaf and people who can hear."
Conoly returned to Hawaii, hoping to study American Sign Language in college. But just before her senior year of high school came her first pregnancy. Her baby, Faith, was born with a serious heart defect that required surgery on the mainland.
Conoly and her baby made it through the ordeal, and she was able to return in time for graduation alongside her Kapolei High School classmates. But times were tough for the single mother, and she spent the ensuing years logging long hours at Forever 21 and Toys R Us, even working as a mentor at a Kids Hurt Too summer camp.
When son Teagan was born last year, Conoly knew she had to focus on her long-term prospects.
With support from her mother and sister, Conoly is now studying digital media at Leeward Community College and plans to transfer to the University of Hawaii at Manoa. She also works as a guide on the battleship USS Missouri, where her welcoming nature and genuine appreciation for history have made her a favorite among visitors.
"I firmly believe that it doesn’t matter what situation you’re in because if you have the will, you can accomplish anything," Conoly says. "I’m very happy with my life right now. It means a lot to me to be able to really enjoy this time in my children’s lives, and I’ll do whatever I need to do to provide for them."
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Reach Michael Tsai at mtsai@staradvertiser.com.
