Marriage is hard enough, but when you’re in the military, the list of additional strains on a relationship can be daunting: deployments with long separations, frequent relocations, fear of the worst.

Strong Bonds, a chaplain-led Army program that helps soldiers and their families build strong relationships, is trying to make that list more manageable with retreats held throughout the year.

At the most recent gathering, 14 Army couples participated in a one-day session with the theme "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage," featuring pastor and motivational speaker Mark Gungor’s videos and book of the same name. The Aug. 15 event took place at the DoubleTree by Hilton Alana Waikiki Hotel, with child care and meals provided. A previous retreat was titled "The 5 Love Languages."

Participants included Army Sgts. Percy Green, 36, and Tajuana Green, 41, who married two months ago. The couple met while on deployment in Afghanistan.

"There’s always room to find ways to work on your marriage. We come from different worlds and upbringing," said Tajuana. "It’s a lifetime commitment. We want to have tools to use to make things better."

The Strong Bonds website says that 56 percent of soldiers are married. The program, founded in 1997, provides couples with training in communication, intimacy and conflict resolution. It’s also a chance for participants to make friends with other military families and learn about community resources that can assist with health and wellness concerns and crisis intervention.

Support programs like Strong Bonds are being credited with helping to reduce the military divorce rate in fiscal year 2012.

"We’re bringing them together to work out their issues and problems," said Capt. Isaac Shubert, an Army chaplain. "We demonstrate how men and women operate differently."

In a listening activity during the Waikiki retreat, one partner listened while the other shared a concern. Listeners repeated the information back to their spouses to ensure they were paying attention and absorbing the message.

"Instead of asking for stuff like a mother or father figure, they can learn to understand each other," Shubert said. "They gain listening skills and take the time to find out what the person needs. One day the kids will be grown, so these couples need to have a relationship so they can move to the next level and continue to grow."

Sgts. Jose Escalera, 28, and Nikidrea Escalera, 23, met during basic training and wed a year and a half ago.

"We’re newly married and wanted to make sure we’re headed in the right direction," Nikidrea said.

The couple deployed to Afghanistan at the same time and were then sent to Korea, where they ended up at separate duty stations. Escalera said she wasn’t expecting the upheaval.

"I’d thought I’d go to Hawaii, be with my husband and live my own fairy tale," she said.

Now they make it a point to squeeze in lunch dates during the week, plus weekend activities. "We finally have a home together (after deployment)," Jose Escalera said. "This is about understanding each other better, learning how to problem-solve."

The retreats used to be three-day events before budget cuts, though the soldiers do get the next day off to spend time with their spouse and practice what they learned at the retreat.

"Lots of these couples don’t have a lot of quality time," Shubert said.

Deployments are shorter now, about nine months, and Shubert said video chats and social media help couples stay in contact when apart, but "the younger soldiers have a hard time with the separation."

Spc. Ben Linsenmann, 26, and his wife Donna, 24, have been together for a decade and married six years. The couple have two daughters, Sophie, 3, and Izzy, 2. They attended a three-day Strong Bonds retreat soon after Ben’s deployment to Iraq.

"We’d just moved to Hawaii. He left six days after Sophie was born," Donna said. "I didn’t have a car, no household goods and no friends, but I had a baby. I figured if we could get through that, we could get through anything."

They said they went to the retreat to carve out some quality time together.

Although the Linsenmanns didn’t have any specific issues they wanted to work on, they said the Strong Bonds retreat reminded them why they married in the first place.

"Couples don’t spend enough time building a friendship. We make time for each other and go on about three or four dates each week," Ben said. "She’s my best friend."

To learn more about Strong Bonds or sign up for the next retreat, Army personnel can talk to their unit chaplain or visit www.strongbonds.org.