Tis the season to be jolly, but grief, financial hardship and illness don’t follow a calendar. For those in no mood to be merry, a "Blue Christmas" service offers a way to help lose the blues.

There won’t be any pressure to put on a smile and shake hands with the stranger sitting next to you, participate in prayer or put money in the offering plate, says the Rev. Jayne Ryan Kuro­iwa, pastor at Windward United Church of Christ, which will hold such a service next weekend.

There will be a live jazz band helping to "set a gentle, mellow kind of vibe" at the evening service. There will also be poetry, short scriptural readings, a few Christmas carols and someone to talk to after the service, for attendees with such a need.

The service usually attracts people who don’t regularly attend church. But "we won’t be taking names and addresses so we can hound you afterwards," said Ryan Kuro­iwa, who began serving as the church’s pastor in March. (Previously, Kuro­iwa and her husband, the Rev. Wally Ryan Kuro­iwa, who served as a pastor of Nuu­anu Congregational Church in the 1990s, had been moving back and forth between Hawaii and her home in Cleveland. She had served as interim pastor in both Hawaii and Ohio churches.)

"Nothing will be forced," Ryan Kuro­iwa added. "People need to know it’s a safe place."

The Blue Christmas service offers attendees a "low-key opportunity to reflect on their faith, even if they are having a rough go of it … an opportunity for them to release some of their grief or emotions, or simply find a peace they’re not able to find on their own," she said. "Often we grieve alone and silently."

The annual event is also known as the "Longest Night" service because it’s usually held on or near the winter solstice, the time at the end of the calendar year at which the sun appears at noon at its lowest altitude above the horizon.

"The symbolism is that emotionally you may be in a dark place, but it will eventually get light; there’s always hope," Ryan Kuro­iwa said. "The service got its start in the hospice community nearly 20 years ago as a means for people to sustain hope and remember loved ones who have passed away. Congregations have adapted that format and applied it to a wider array of hurts and needs."

Attendees will be given a tea light and invited to come to the altar to light small candles from one of four pillar candles, one representing "people we have loved and/or lost; one that symbolizes pain from the past; one that’s for ourselves as survivors; and one that’s for hope for the future," she said. While some participants may stand and reflect for a few minutes or pray, others may say, "This is for my brother or husband" or whomever, but people can participate as much or as little as or they want to, Ryan Kuro­iwa said.

By the end of the 45-minute service, "the mood does seem to lighten," she said. "You can see it on their faces, also hear their gratitude, too."

In past years some have told Ryan Kuro­iwa they came to keep their friend company and did not anticipate that "this would touch me so much." Others have said that just to have someone care about them by hosting this is something they really value.

The Blue Christmas/Longest Night service has little to do with Advent, the four-week period preceeding Christmas Day.

"Advent means ‘beginning’ — the beginning of the church calendar year," Ryan Kuro­iwa said. "Originally it was a time like Lent, when penitence was an important part of it." These days, Advent is practiced as a period of introspection and emphasizes preparing oneself spiritually for the coming of Christ, she said. It might include fasting or making time for a daily devotional and a greater effort to meet the needs of the poor.

The way Ryan Kuro­iwa sees it, Advent is "really a countercultural time when our society is telling us have a materialistic Christmas. Advent is saying there’s something more important that’s about to happen. So the things that come across are hope and longing for a better world." She continued, "Old Testament prophets insisted that God intends there to be peace on Earth. There’s a sense of personal responsibility of purifying yourself, putting yourself right with God before you come to the manger and meet the child of God."

On each Advent Sunday a new candle is lit on a wreath. The candles represent hope, peace, joy and love and are lit in that order, Ryan Kuro­iwa said. The wreath’s four perimeter candles are often purple to denote the solemnity of the observance. A fifth candle, the Christ candle, is usually white and in the center of the wreath. It’s lit on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.