THIMPHU, Bhutan » When I die I might like to be reincarnated as a citizen of the tiny, mountainous nation of Bhutan.
Well, maybe that’s a romantic overstatement because I’m not inclined to take orders from a king, there are only a couple of elevators in the country but many tens of thousands of stone steps, and I wouldn’t obey the law that says a man must wear his traditional "gho" bathrobelike costume in public from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.
If it were not for the above quirks, it would be heaven on Earth, full of happiness, smiles, prayer flags and drop-dead-gorgeous view of the Himalayas.
Only 40,000 tourists a year visit Bhutan, and it didn’t open to outsiders until 1974, so you’re unlikely to encounter another kamaaina or a tour group of hog farmers from Iowa.
Access is by an airline called Drukair, and nobody who has flown into the airport at Paro forgets it. A sharp right bank to avoid a mountain, then a deep dip of the left wing to recover level flight, flaps and wheels down, and then a quick plop down on the runway. Fog, rain and snow frequently cancel or divert flights. You can end up in Kolkata.
Oh, and you need a prearranged visa to get in, and you can’t get a visa confirmation letter until you’ve wired the government a minimum of $250 per person per day of your planned visit for lodging, food, a guide and internal transportation. In other words, penurious college students and backpackers need not apply.
| IF YOU GO …
BHUTAN
Korean Air has a good connection Honolulu-Kathmandu, with an overnight hotel provided in Inchon.
Drukair is the sole carrier from Nepal into Bhutan.
One of the better Kathmandu hotels for a first-timer is the Yak & Yeti, strategically located near restaurants and major downtown sites.
For Bhutan, I suggest arranging hotel through your mandatory local tour company. I did mine through Bhutan Majestic Tours.
Nepal midlevel hotels and restaurants generally are very cheap. Bhutan’s are more expensive for foreigners because of the $250-per-person-per-day mandatory expenditure.
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There are plenty of hotels that fit into the $250 budget, but not the Taj Tashi or Amankora in Thimphu. They quoted me about $1,500 per person per day for one room! So I stayed in the lesser Sambhav Hotel, of which a TripAdvisor user wrote: "Some rooms are so bad (dirty, broken windows/frame, meaning entire window could not be closed … and it gets VERY cold at night) that there was a huge row between group members. My room, however, was OK except for being on the 4th floor — there is no lift — and having no shower curtain so it was impossible to take a shower without flooding the (very cold) marble bathroom."
They put me on the fifth floor! But the food was pretty good, and, as in all Bhutan hotels, you can bring in your own (cheaper) wine or liquor purchased outside the country.
THE TIGER’S NEST
The airport is almost 30 miles away from the capital of Thimphu, in the large town of Paro. That’s where foreigners hang out (do it at the fairly new Metta Resort with an owner who goes out of his way to do everything right for guests) before and after making the arduous trek up to the Tiger’s Nest monastery clinging to a vertical cliff at 10,240 feet of altitude and built in the 1600s. My knee doc, Mike Reyes at Kaiser, made the climb twice in one week! His legs obviously are better than mine, although 7-year-old Daniel Pang of Waialae-Kahala made it without trouble recently. So did his mom and dad, Diane and Mike Pang. Plus 78-year-old Al Resch of Waialae Iki.
Bhutan is all about old monasteries built to double as fortresses in the disputed kingdom’s time. Each is a work of spectacular architectural design, although none of the old ones was built by an architect. The erectors were just men of spiritual vision. They amassed a tremendous amount of karma for their next lives by building these huge structures — often on hard-access mountaintops.
RISKY ROADS
Roads for travelers present a problem in Bhutan. Aside from some sections of the National Highway near the capital, there isn’t much that passes an American’s test for comfort or safety. Roads wind up and down mountains, and trucks and buses pass with maybe six inches to spare. It can be an all-day trip to go from the Paro airport to the former capital of Punakha, a distance of just 80 miles. But the reward is the great Punakha "dzong" (fortress monastery) where the abbott sometimes performs a special blessing ceremony for foreign visitors — sometimes interrupted by a call coming in to his cellphone.
Alas, much of what’s for sale in Bhutan is made in either Nepal or India. But there is one excellent shop in Paro, Chencho Handicrafts, with authentic goods, and you should not miss the National Textile Museum in Thimphu.
The current king (No. 5) lives in a nonpresumptuous Thimpu house you can look at close-up, but photographs are forbidden for some reason.
The king often goes out into the streets without bodyguards and chats with commoners. You’re allowed to hit him up on any matter that local officials have not settled to your satisfaction.
An increasing business in Bhutan is trekking, although nowhere near as booming as next-door Nepal’s. One outfitter that struck me as safety-conscious, experienced and offering the most on-trail services is Bhutan Majestic Travel. You’ll see mountain wilderness and Himalayan views indescribable with my limited supply of words.
Just make sure you don’t go in June, July or early August. That’s the monsoon season, and is not fit for man or beast.
NEIGHBORING NEPAL
Right next door to Bhutan, as I mentioned, is Nepal, which went the easy-visa route and attracted the youngsters who flooded in during the ’60s and ’70s with rock-bottom room prices and almost nonexistent drug laws. Prices are still relatively low, but our narcs long ago pressured the government there to end the "Best Ganja in Town" stores where cocaine and hashish were also plentiful.
Today Nepal is fairly old hat with veteran tourists because of its choking pollution, crowding and incessant vehicle horn-blowing. Bhutan has become the diamond attraction. What was a third tiny country in between the two — Sikkim — has been absorbed by India. Visitors to Kathmandu and the adjoining community of Bahktapur do the usual temple tours. But they also should put on their list the 22-course Sunday Nepali feast at the mind-blowing Dwarika’s Hotel for $65 plus 23 percent in tip and tax. Yes, they’ll do veggie and gluten-free versions.
BOUDHNATH STUPA
Don’t miss Boudhnath Buddhist stupa just outside Kathmandu’s city center. It’s always peopled with Tibetan refugees (Nepal is a predominantly Hindu country), and this stupa is very secular. It’s loaded with good shops and street sellers, and the Flavors restaurant, which hires handicapped employees. I took gifts for a waitress who is deaf and mute and much liked by my wife.
Mainly, get out in the countryside. Arrange a long hike out of Pokhara. Raft the Trisuli River. Spend three days in the crammed-with-jungle-animals Chitwan Park. I stayed at the Sapana Village Lodge and loved it. But mind the crocodiles!
The ultimate in Nepal, of course, is to do the trek to Mount Everest base camp and back. Or the trip into Mustang, the former Lo Kingdom, on Nepal’s border with Tibet.
But as I said at the outset, romanticism can temporarily blind you. I’m betting that after just a few weeks in Bhutan or Nepal, you’ll get that homesickness for a Hawaii beach, the warm but cooling trades and maybe a Madame Vu Mai Tai at Duc’s Bistro.
Kathmandu’s famous Rum Doodle Bar with its mountain-climbing habitues is good for one or two drinks so you can say you shouldered up to those who conquered the world’s highest mountain.
I did ask a friend to put my name on one of the Bigfoot paper footprints they hang from the bar-restaurant ceiling … and write "summited Everest, 2014, without oxygen and in my bare feet."
Bob Jones, a veteran reporter and former TV news anchorman, is a columnist for MidWeek.
