The howling winds of Hurricane Ana competed with the hot air of candidates for governor as we "flASHback" on October’s news that amused and confused:

» Democrat David Ige shrugged off a poor debate in which he forgot a question in mid-answer and showed light knowledge of the neighbor islands and agriculture, saying what you see is what you get with him. That’s what we were afraid of.

» Republican James "Duke" Aiona courted the religious vote at a "We Believe" rally, promising the faithful "a different option." Theologically speaking, the only options in this election are damned if you do or damned if you don’t.

» Independent candidate Mufi Hannemann said people see him as a bully because he’s a tall Polynesian. Neil Abercrombie must have used fun-house mirrors to achieve the same effect as a short haole.

» After insisting in court that only the House can judge its members’ qualifications, Speaker Joe Souki refused to hear questions about Rep. Calvin Say’s residency before the election. Souki graduated from the Wile E. Coyote school of leadership.

» The Maui Fair was disrupted by squabbling and taunting between the two sides in the genetically modified foods debate. So it’s official: Hawaii politics has devolved into a food fight.

» Speaking of food, City Council veterans Ann Kobayashi and Ikaika Anderson said they had no idea it was illegal for them to accept expensive meals from lobbyists. See no evil, hear no evil, eat like public office is a free buffet.

» Maui surfer Kaleo Roberson fended off a tiger shark attack by stuffing his surfboard in the shark’s mouth and then whacking the beast with the board. He can give Mayor Kirk Caldwell pointers on working with the City Council.

» It was a glam October for U.S. Rep. Tulsi Gabbard, who blew off a veterans’ care hearing to do a photo shoot with Yahoo News in the Waikiki surf and later was named by a magazine as the second "hottest" member of Congress. The competition thinned out after Barney Frank retired.

» Hawaii middle school students got $20 gift cards to participate in the controversial sex education program Pono Choices. More proof that our public education system has reached the cutting edge of stupid.

» Hurricane Ana flooded the Sand Island sewage plant and left workers to deal with 20 million gallons of untreated sludge. It was like cleaning up the Capitol after the Legislature adjourns.

And the quote of the month … from Honolulu Authority for Rapid Transportation board member Carrie Okinaga on hiking rail CEO Daniel Grabauskas’ pay and bonus to $295,500: "We’ve found a leader who makes tough decisions, who makes lemonade out of lemons." You know we’re in trouble when our $5.26 billion rail investment needs a lemon specialist.

Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.