Politicians showered us with comedy through April

It’s the last Sunday in April and time to “flASHback” on the month’s news that amused and confused:

>> Former Gov. Ben Cayetano urged President Donald Trump to kill federal funding for Honolulu rail, describing it as the “poster boy for … politics, incompetence, disinformation and outright lies.” Trump was relieved; he thought he was the poster boy for all that stuff.

>> U.S. Sens. Brian Schatz and Mazie Hirono had hissy fits on Twitter after U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions referred to Oahu as “an island in the Pacific.” Political fights on Twitter are like knife fights with toothpicks.

>> Sessions shrugged off the furor over his comments, grumbling that “nobody has a sense of humor anymore.” Isn’t that what clowns say when their act flops?

>> U.S. Rep. Tulsi Gabbard fanned fears of a North Korean nuclear attack on Hawaii, but fellow Rep. Colleen Hanabusa said it would be easier for the Koreans to hit Seattle. We don’t need a missile defense, just a neon arrow over Diamond Head pointing to the Emerald City.

>> New contributions grew Gabbard’s campaign fund to $2 million, and she spent tens of thousands of dollars on camera equipment to record her doings. Long gone are the days when a mirror was enough to admire her image.

>> After the state House voted for a two-year excise tax extension for Honolulu rail cost overruns and the Senate refused any extension, Senate President Ron Kouchi proposed to split the difference at 10 years. Another demonstration of the math skills that got us into this mess.

>> The Legislature studied a proposed public/private partnership to replace Aloha Stadium with a new 35,000-seat facility that would cost $325 million and include a hotel, housing and retail space. It’s never too early to start planning the next boondoggle after rail.

>> Mayor Kirk Caldwell and the City Council are fighting over whether to use live Christmas trees instead of artificial ones for city holiday displays. Aren’t you glad they’ve solved homelessness and the rail fiasco and can move on to other priorities?

>> The Council passed a bill to allow private interests to sponsor city facilities in exchange for visual recognition. Now we can make it official and put a Territorial Savings Bank sign on the mayor’s office.

>> A Big Island sewage spill forced the county to close several parks around Hilo Bay. Believe it or not, this is progress; when I was a kid in Hilo, a sewage spill would have improved the water quality of the bay.

And the quote of the week … from U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley on North Korea’s nuclear threats: “What we’re dealing with is a leader who is flailing right now and he’s trying to show his citizens he has muscle.” I’m confused, is she referring to our leader or theirs?

Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.