Mom worries as son enters middle school ‘danger zone’

I’ve got the middle school blues.

My 11-year-old son recently reached that milestone of leaving elementary school behind to start the sixth grade, at the same middle school I attended as a seventh-grader, back when it was known as “intermediate school.”

It could’ve waited another year.

Awhile back, Hawaii’s public school system made the not-so-brilliant decision to add still-innocent sixth-graders as young as 10 to the mix of rambunctious seventh- and eighth-grade smart alecks as old as 15.

It was a bad idea. Many tweens and young teens are already way too mature for their age.

As the new school year approached, I started reminiscing about my intermediate school days, that precise point in life when, no longer protected by the bubble of elementary school, I was exposed to the ugly truth of preteens smoking in the restrooms, using filthy language just to be cool and naively starting boyfriend-girlfriend relationships (some even getting pregnant!).

It is the danger zone when much innocence is lost to peer pressure and puberty, and disrespectful attitudes prevail.

I dreaded the thought of “my baby” having to navigate that environment and feared I could no longer shield him from the world. I urged him to keep away from the “bad crowd” — the naughty kids with pilau mouths and poor judgment.

While the school has cleaned up its reputation for bathroom smokers and even gamblers, there’s still a fair share of troublemakers — those unsupervised children who often get into mischief in the after-school hours.

Walking past a group of loud-mouth girls shouting expletives outside the adjacent city gym where my son was playing, I briefly glanced at them (OK, maybe gave them stink eye) in reaction to their crudeness.

“What she turn around for?” one of the snarky girls shouted.

“WATCH YOUR MOUTH, that’s why!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. In a defiant gesture, one girl continued to spout bad words.

As my embarrassed 10-year-old daughter hid behind the car, I instantly knew I should not have fed into it. I didn’t feel good about putting a middle schooler in her place. These were exactly the kind of kids I warned my son about, yet I couldn’t help myself.

Despite my apprehension, my son declared that he loves middle school and relishes his new environment.

Apparently the transition to middle school was easier for him than it was for me. After all, I was the one who engaged with the bad crowd.

“She Speaks” is a weekly column by the women writers of the Honolulu Star-Advertiser. Reach Kristen Consillio at kconsillio@staradvertiser.com.