De Lima records missile scare parody

Frank De Lima has put a comedic spin on Saturday’s false missile alert with a peppy yet calming parody, released Tuesday on Honolulu radio stations.

With lyrics he wrote with collaborator Patrick Downes, the parody is sung to the Bee Gees’ disco hit “Stayin’ Alive.”

De Lima sings:

“It was Saturday morning, just past 8

“A beautiful day in the Aloha State

“I was eating eggs and ham

“And whole wheat toast with guava jam

“And it was all right, all OK

“Everything going my way

“That was when our cellphones rang

“And the craziness began.”

Amid the ongoing investigation by Gov. David Ige and state and federal officials to determine how the debacle happened, De Lima confronts initial moments of chaos and terror with uncertainty yet hope.

“I was having breakfast with Patrick at Anna Miller’s,” said De Lima, when cellphones started receiving the unexpected and unbelievable alert. By the time the “false alert” message was issued, they knew a song was in the making.

“We were all in terror, hoping that it was an error, and we’re stayin’ alive,” the song continues, with art imitating life. The rhyming lyrics — the team’s best yet — suit the finger-snapping tempo, and it’s OK that De Lima doesn’t imitate Barry Gibb’s falsetto, doing it all his way.

With swift precision, he recorded the tune Monday with musician David Kau­ahikaua.

De Lima has previously chronicled and parodied notable community events that affect or interest the public, like tsunami alerts, Furlough Fridays, the demise of the Superferry, and Marcus Mariota.

“Stayin’ Alive” will be available for download, with a donation to support the comedian’s school tours, at frankdelima.com.

Wayne Harada is a veteran entertainment columnist whose Show Biz column runs in Sunday’s Currents section.