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Ta-ta 2018, keep your subscription boxes and, yes, the Floss

  • ASSOCIATED PRESS

    Subscription boxes have been around for a while but in 2018 there were so many they needed to be curated and heavily reviewed by media and consumers alike.

NEW YORK >> Keep your gender-reveal parties, dear 2018, and your subscription box services, too. And the stiff-arm Floss dance? Stomp it out in the new year.

As we slide into 2019, here are a few things we’d like to leave behind come Jan. 1. You’re welcome.

FLOSS NO MORE

The arm-flailing, hip-swaying, rapid-fire dance craze is the new Dab and we owe it to 16-year-old social media dude Russell Horning, aka The Backpack Kid. Horning grew a sizable Instagram following through his dance moves as far back as 2014, and Rihanna reposted a photo of him well before Katy Perry invited him to do his thing with her on “Saturday Night Live” in 2017, launching him to social media superstardom.

Other celebs, moms, dads, athletes and pretty much all of YouTube are flossing their lives away. Aren’t all you Flossers exhausted? Have a seat. Take a load off.

GENDER-REVEAL PARTIES

Firstly, gender is not solely boy or girl. Gender can be fluid. Secondly, have we not outgrown blue for boys and pink for girls?

Celebrate the birth of a human being instead. Oh wait, that’s what baby showers are for, and birthdays.

BOX UP YOUR BOXES

In beauty and fitness, food prep, apparel and toys, all your dreams can come true in a box for a fee.

Subscription boxes have been around for a while but in 2018 there were so many they needed to be curated and heavily reviewed by media and consumers alike.

While it’s nice and convenient to receive a curated box of stuff in the mail, do remember that you’re the one who’s paying, unless you got lucky and your boxes are gifts that keep on giving.

BEYOND, BEYOND AND BEYOND

When we’re not “obsessed” with everything, we’re “beyond blessed,” “beyond grateful,” “beyond honored,” “beyond exhausted” and “beyond excited.”

No. We’re all right here in this dimension. Is the meaning of the word not enough without the qualifier? Why not allow yourselves to be, simply, blessed, grateful and honored?

Be thrilled beyond words, but do trust that language has your back. Hopefully, so does the new year.

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