David Shapiro: Sending out positive vibes to our besieged public officials

I’m often critical of our public leaders, but I know the tremendous pressure they’re under.

That’s why I like to start each new year fresh by burying the hatchet and smoothing any feathers I may have ruffled in my commentaries.

To that end, I send our leaders personalized words of wisdom and inspiration from some of our greatest minds for the challenging year ahead:

>> For President-elect Joe Biden: “Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There’s nothing to do but to stand there and take it.” — Lyndon B. Johnson

>> For Donald Trump: “Reality is always controlled by the people who are most insane.” — Dogbert

>> For Gov. David Ige: “I’m not normally a religious man, but if you’re up there, save me, Superman!” — Homer Simpson

>> For Lt. Gov. Josh Green: “To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.” — Ashleigh Brilliant

>> For House Speaker Scott Saiki and Senate President Ron Kouchi: “The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs.” — Alphonse de Lamartine

>> For state Health Director Elizabeth Char: “We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.” — Dan Quayle

>> For U.S. Sen. Brian Schatz: “My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists.” — Jean Rostand

>> For U.S. Sen. Mazie Hirono: “If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.” — Lawrence Ferlinghetti

>> For U.S. Rep. Ed Case: “We’re going to move left and right at the same time.” — Jerry Brown

>> For U.S. Rep. Kai Kahele: “The ambition that propels you to success can also be your downfall.” — Judy Smith

>> For Honolulu Mayor Rick Blangiardi: “I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their job.” — Samuel Goldwyn

>> For mayoral runner-up Keith Amemiya: “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” — Steven Wright

>> For City Council Chairman Tommy Waters and his cohorts: “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” — Alan Dundes

>> For Honolulu rail CEO Lori Kahikina: “I’ve always had a weakness for lost causes once they’re really lost.” — Margaret Mitchell

>> For Police Chief Susan Ballard: “Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.” — Douglas Adams

>> For city Prosecutor Steven Alm: “We cannot expect people to have respect for law and order until we teach respect to those we have entrusted to enforce those laws.” — Hunter S. Thompson

>> For Louis and Katherine Kealoha: “I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.” — Emo Philips

Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.