Jack rose among thorns

If you are a citizen of planet Earth, these past 19 months have probably thrown you for a loop, and needless to say, there were more than a few challenges. Whether your profession is in health care or restaurants, retail or shipping, you probably haven’t had a whole lot of options in terms of working remotely, and if you’re like me, many of you have probably even changed jobs (often more than once), either to try and stay afloat, or even possibly, finally pursue your dream career.

I fell in love with restaurants right out of high school. Everything from the libations to the lingo made my skin literally tingle with anticipation of what each new night would bring, as I pinned my hair back in a neat French twist, and wrapped the strings of my apron twice around my waist tightly with a double knot, which I prayed would keep it from sagging in an unsightly manner. The weight of the six check presenters I would inevitably have stuffed in its pockets at any given moment, would be heavy with cash and credit cards of guests eager to close out so they could quickly bounce to the next destination.

Never keep a guest waiting for the bill. That was rule No. 1 of many cardinal rules of hospitality I would learn, practice and recite like a mantra to myself every afternoon in the shower as I got ready for the dinner shift. Never let them leave without catching them to say goodbye. That was rule No.

2. And rule No. 3? Always, always, say, “Thank you.”

Why is “thank you” so important? I’ve discussed this with my partner many times. Why does placing a $20 bill in the tip jar of your bartender feel so gratifying when they beam at you in a momentary connection of inclusion and familiarity, and yet so flustering and awkward when that same bartender, who just happens to turn her back at that exact instant, misses your generous gesture entirely? Giving and receiving, though shared interactions between two people, are often construed as separate experiences, mutually exclusive of one another. My friends, I am here to tell you, after 18-plus years in the service industry, they are most certainly not.

I heard a story on the radio the other day about a man who befriended the owner of a newspaper stand. Every day before buying his newspaper, they would exchange polite discourse and a sort of trust and rapport began to grow between them. One day, the man didn’t have the correct change, and the owner of the newspaper stand handed the man his daily paper, smiled and said kindly, “Don’t worry about it.” In an attempt to prove his integrity, the man raced to the store next door to make change, and hurried back to pay the newspaper stand owner what he owed, but when he tried to hand him the money, the newspaper stand owner recoiled in offense. He had tried to extend a kindness based on their established camaraderie. By not accepting it, the man had — without meaning to — slighted him, denying him this acknowledgment of their friendship, as well as the opportunity to accept the man’s gratitude, had the man just said, “Thank you.”

During the season of Thanksgiving, when not all of us may be our ideal situations, geographically or financially, it’s most important to focus on doing for others what we can, but equally important to let others do for us what they offer happily, and without reservation. Thus is the art of receiving; appreciation of another’s selfless act, who in turn, through acceptance of your appreciation, completes the circle. It is a way of giving back when you have nothing else left in the world to give, which can still make someone feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Rule No. 4? When a guest says, “Thank you,” it is most polite to acknowledge their gratitude by confessing that, “It was my pleasure,” or if you are a part of a team, “It was our pleasure.”

For those of you lucky enough to get to spend Thanksgiving either dining in restaurants or surrounded safely by your loved ones at home, please allow me to take you back to another era where there was both plenty and little to be thankful for, with a cocktail made most popular in the Roaring ’20s, also known to cocktail connoisseurs as Prohibition.

While industrial and economic growth was booming, Prohibition was simultaneously a dark time for American cocktail culture, though both John Steinbeck and Ernest Hemingway have both given nods to this particularly celebrated and beloved cocktail of that same era, the Jack Rose.

Made with bonded, 100 proof apple brandy, it seems only fitting that we celebrate Thanksgiving and harvest season with this iconic orchard fruit. Its origins pay homage to somewhere on the East Coast, with bartenders from both New York and New Jersey having staked claim to its creation. If I may say, the Jack Rose, like Thanksgiving, is as American as apple pie.

Alicia Yamachika is a bartender and craft mixologist, who currently is the key account manager at Southern Glazer’s Wine & Spirits on Oahu. Follow her on Instagram (@alicia_yamachika). Her column will appear every second Wednesday in Crave.