Volcanic Ash: Pampered Hawaii politicos get easier access to Pampers

It’s the last Sunday in November and time to “flASHback” on the month’s news that amused and confused:

>> The state finished installing diaper changing stations throughout the Capitol. Our seat of government now complies with the wise adage: “Politicians are like diapers; they need to be changed often, and for the same reason.”

>> Gov. David Ige returned COVID-19 rule-making to the counties, and Mayor Rick Blangiardi quickly cut restrictions on big gatherings, restaurants and gyms. Normalcy at last; we can get fat over the holidays and resolve to exercise it off in the new year.

>> Ige attended the COP26 climate summit in Glasgow, Scotland, to tout local governments’ preparation for global warming. Basically, they set big goals with little action and look the other way while property owners sandbag the shoreline.

>> With Ige in Glasgow and Lt. Gov. Josh Green on the mainland visiting family and doing political fundraising, Attorney General Clare Connors was acting governor. She struck a nice balance between one who talks in riddles and one who talks in soundbites: She didn’t talk at all.

>> The Hawaii Supreme Court overturned the Legislature’s controversial practice known as “gut and replace,” saying it “discourages public confidence.” Legislators remain free to discourage public confidence with the song and dance.

>> Former Mayor Kirk Caldwell said he wants to be governor to take “bold steps” on the economy, infrastructure, homelessness, tourism and climate change. As mayor, he was too busy with his side job at the bank to do that stuff.

>> Keith Amemiya and Sherry Menor- McNamara joined Jill Tokuda, Ikaika Anderson and Sylvia Luke in the Democratic primary for lieutenant governor. I never understood why so many strive so hard for the right to contribute so little.

>> Honolulu rail chairwoman Colleen Hanabusa said a new plan to erase the $3.5 billion rail deficit is “based on assumptions, snapshots in time.” It’s inspired by a Shakespearean formula: “Double, double toil and trouble; fire burn and cauldron bubble.”

>> The City Council wants to crack down on Kalakaua Avenue street performers. By municipal decree, you can no longer make a living in Waikiki unless you’re listed in the Fortune 500.

>> Council Chairman Tommy Waters said muting amplified performers is necessary for “preserving the tranquility of Waikiki.” A better idea would be to mute the drunken revelers, screeching hot rods and Tommy Waters.

>> Lynn Finnegan became the third Hawaii Republican chairperson this year, taking over from Signe Godfrey. The futless local GOP resembles how the late sportscaster Les Keiter described missed basketball shots: “In again, out again, Finnegan.”

And the quote of the month … from Sen. Glenn Wakai on tourism capacity: “When the tourists don’t come, people are unemployed. They stay home, and locals start gobbling up all our natural resources and adding to our sewage treatment plants. So we should actually be inviting more tourists so people are staying at work instead of at home in their air-conditioned rooms watching Netflix all day.” As we were saying about politicians and diapers …

Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.