It’s the last Sunday of 2021 and time to “flASHback” on the year’s news that amused and confused:
>> The public was barred from the 2021 Legislature as lawmakers, worried about COVID-19 and protests, fenced off the Capitol. Lobbyists could get in if they answered the secret security question: “What’s in YOUR wallet?”
>> The Legislature pressed to restrict the governor’s emergency powers and assert their own after Gov. David Ige issued dozens of COVID-19 proclamations. They didn’t say what happens when the Legislature and governor are the emergency.
>> Ige called for a “Hawaii 2.0” economic reboot, declaring, “If you’re not in the digital economy, then you’re really not in an economy.” For locals, the 2021 digital economy resembled a middle finger.
>> State Rep. Sharon Har was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving after motoring in the wrong direction on a one-way street near Beretania and Piikoi streets. More proof that our seat of government is a bar stool.
>> The state broke into two phases its plans to build a new Aloha Stadium while also redeveloping the area around it for housing, retail and hotels. Phase 1 is to make impossible promises; Phase 2 is to break them.
>> The nonprofit TRIP reported that pavement on Hawaii’s interstate highways is the worst in the nation, but the state said the group didn’t tell the whole story. They failed to mention we have the worst schools, bridges and airports, too.
>> Mayor Rick Blangiardi struggled with the four-tier COVID-19 control system left behind by the Caldwell administration until finally disregarding it. He got tired of falling asleep with tiers on his pillow.
>> Blangiardi said he was worried about the “psychological health of the community” in the pandemic, and one of his first acts was to extend bar hours. It was the Homer Simpson cure for COVID-19.
>> Honolulu rail chairwoman Colleen Hanabusa unveiled a controversial new accounting that cut the $3.5 billion rail deficit nearly in half. Nothing balances the books like good cooking.
>> The rail agency warned the public to stay away from the train’s “third rail” to avoid instant electrocution. And we thought nothing could be more painful than rail’s sticker shock.
>> Honolulu police used federal COVID-19 relief funds to buy a $150,000 dancing robotic dog named Spot to take temperatures of homeless people, after earlier spending $625,000 on 40 ATVs, trucks and trailers. HPD’s pandemic planner was Toys R Us.
>> Public-safety officers such as police, lifeguards and paramedics accounted for 51% of city workers who resisted compliance with the mayor’s vaccination mandate. There’s a new motto: “To Protect and Infect.”
>> The Navy brought in giant filters to clean up the jet fuel that leaked into drinking water from its Red Hill storage facility. Next is giant lie detectors to filter Navy claims about the safety of its tanks.
>> We celebrated Christmas the same as last year, with a COVID-19 surge attributed to holiday revelry and new variants. Oh Dasher, oh Dancer, oh Prancer, Omicron …
Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.
