For the family of Gary Ruby, the details of his death are extremely painful.

But friends and family attest that Ruby was “a cultured man, caring and generous,” his brother, Lorne, said by phone from his home in Topeka, Kan.

The brothers were born and raised in Montreal, and there Gary Ruby attended the prestigious McGill University and went on to become a lawyer.

Beyond that, Lorne Ruby says he will take some time to grieve his brother’s death before speaking further about his life. He said is still grappling with what he sees as a focus on the lurid circumstances of his brother’s death by some in the media.

It was Ruby who called police March 7 concerned he had not heard from his brother in three weeks.

Police that day discovered that a bathtub in Gary Ruby’s house in Hawaii Loa Ridge had been filled with concrete. Personnel from the Honolulu Medical Examiner’s Office found Ruby’s body beneath the concrete the next day. Police said Juan Tejedor Baron, a 23-year-old Texas man, admitted he strangled Ruby with a belt and tried to hide the body in the tub.

“Gary was just a wonderful guy,” said Roy Sekigahama, a San Diego playwright who met Ruby in 1981 while vacationing in Hawaii. The two became good friends.

“In the 40 years I knew him, we never had an argument. He was mild­mannered, never aggressive or critical. It’s no wonder people gravitated toward him,” Sekigahama said.

He had invited Ruby to the opening of one of his plays on Feb. 19, and Ruby was scheduled to arrive the day before but never showed up. Calls, texts and emails on Feb. 20 went unanswered, and Sekigahama said he feels guilty that he didn’t continue to pursue Ruby’s whereabouts.

His last email from Ruby was dated Jan. 30.

“Previous to that, Gary had been talking about the arrangements to see my play,” Sekigahama said. “But as the date got closer, I was curious to know what his plans were, and I never got a response.”

Sekigahama said that in an email around mid-­January, Ruby wrote to him that he had met someone named “Juan, a young Latino guy, who is originally from Colombia, who now lives in Houston.”

“I didn’t give it much thought,” Sekigahama said. “He was always meeting guys (on online dating sites) and talking about them,” although he never said exactly how he met the 23-year-old.

“One thing, kind of unusual: He had invited Juan and his mother to his house for lunch,” Sekigahama said. “Not knowing a whole lot about what was going on, it just seems odd.”

According to Sekigahama, Ruby told him that Juan was going to stay with him awhile and that he had taken him to see a musical.

“He also mentioned Juan was an online influencer and was interested in learning about investing,” Sekigahama said. “I guess you can draw your conclusions from that.”

Sekigahama said Ruby had inherited some money from his father and had spoken about investing and internet stocks.

“It’s my impression he was very knowledgeable about these things and he did pretty well for himself,” Sekigahama said, adding Ruby retired in about 2010.

In addition to killing Ruby, police say Baron admitted to fraudulently acquiring Ruby’s 2020 Audi, estimated by police to be worth $63,000, and fraudulently claimed to have purchased the Hawaii Loa Ridge home that Ruby bought in 2020 for $2.195 million.

On March 7, Baron went to the Hawaii Loa Ridge Community Association office to register as the new owner of Ruby’s house in the gated community. According to court documents, he also tried to list the name Yenisel Guerra as another owner of the house.

Prosecutors charged Baron on Friday with second-degree murder, first-­degree identity theft and two counts of first-degree theft after his arrest last week in California, where law enforcement found him trying to hide on a bus bound for Mexico. He told Los Angeles police detectives that he strangled Ruby after the older man allegedly told him he was HIV-positive.

Although it is unclear whether Ruby met Baron on an online dating site, Chris Duque, a retired cyber crimes investigator with HPD and the Honolulu Prosecutor’s Office, said the internet is just another tool for criminals.

“He could have met the guy at the bar,” said Duque, who advised due diligence and spending time researching anyone people meet online. “What you see online is not what you’re going to get. You’ve got to be suspicious.”