She Speaks: When communicating with mom, son defaults to handy emoji

Forget direct-messaging on Facebook or Twitter, connecting with Facetime or employing that most ancient of interpersonal communication methods, the phone call. The Boy, now 25, pretty much converses with me solely via the thumbs-up emoji.

As if he needed an even more economical way of engaging his mother than his previous default responses such as “raj” (for “roger”) and “‘its g” ( “it’s good”).

The maddening thing about it is that the thumbs-up emoji is a pretty efficient all-purpose reply to just about anything I can say to him via text messaging.

“Hi son! Hope you’re having a great day!”

Thumbs-up.

“How’s the job going?”

Thumbs-up.

“Did you get the card I sent?”

Thumbs-up.

“Don’t forget to make an appointment with the dentist.”

Thumbs-up.

“Have you seen the new Avengers movie?”

Thumbs-up.

“Let me know when you can come visit!”

Thumbs-up.

It’s also a passive-aggressive — but effective — way to stymie an extended exchange. Take it as a signal the sender is unenthusiastic about continuing the conversational thread. Kind of like a bland “sure” reply to a request, but with fewer keystrokes.

While it’s frustrating not to be able to wring more info from him about his life, I don’t take it personally. He’s a dude, and most dudes don’t like making small talk.

On the plus side, my son usually responds in a timely manner when I do text him, providing more incentive for me to use that means of reaching out as opposed to a phone call, when more often than not I am sent to voicemail.

I’ve been working very hard the last couple of years to ease myself out of meddling in his life by not trying to “friend” him or otherwise invite myself into his social media circles, among other things. So I hid my delight when he agreed to loop me into his Instagram account in advance of a snowboarding trip to Japan with his buddies in February.

The daily “stories” he posted made for an exhilarating week.

As a reward for keeping my digital distance, he seems more attentive and affectionate when we are together, sidling up for a customary back-scratch — an irresistible lure I devised when both kids were little.

Meanwhile, the thumbs-up emoji has become so ingrained in my texting habits I’ve taken to using it when messaging friends and co-workers — and it’s available for emails too!

Since it’s somewhat emotion-neutral and may imply indifference, I like to pair it with the emoji wearing shades so there’s no misinterpreting my intent.

It’s really so much easier to tap once or twice in reply than fumble with multiple keystrokes and worry about embarrassing typos or spellcheck blunders.

Am I right?

Thumbs-up.

“She Speaks” is a column by women writers of the Honolulu Star-Advertiser. Reach Christie Wilson at cwilson@staradvertiser.com.