Newsmakers say the darndest things, and it’s time to review my favorite quotes from 2013:

» Gov. Neil Abercrombie, making his case for re-election: "I promised energy and action as governor. That’s a promise I’m keeping. I believe there’s a new confidence in the air." I had no idea confidence smelled like cow pies.

» U.S. Rep. Tulsi Gabbard on joining the U.S. House: "There’s no better situation that I could ask for, no better job that I could ask for." That’s why she asked for a job as a U.S. senator before she was even sworn in to the House.

» State Rep. Faye Hanohano, unhappy that paintings hung in her office weren’t by native artists: "Any work done by haoles, Japs, paranges, pakes, you can just take away right now." Our legislators find new ways to spread aloha every day.

» State Sen. Will Espero, denying that legislators are influenced by favors from lobbyists and campaign donors: "It does not impact our decisions because we base our decisions strictly on discussion of the bills." Right, discussion with lobbyists and campaign donors.

» Sen. Sam Slom on a bill to regulate feeding of wild birds that mess neighbors’ property: "Are we really going to talk about bird poop? I mean really?" For the Senate, that’s high intellect.

» Former University of Hawaii President M.R.C. Greenwood on the disrespect shown top UH officials in the Wonder Blunder investigation: "Folks don’t get to the positions that our regents are in, or for that matter that I’m in, because we’re idiots." They must get that way from on-the-job experience.

» UH athletic director Ben Jay, after a fired assistant football coach still received his $125,000 salary: "It’s not a loss, it’s already built into the budget." UH needs to shorten its battle cry from "Go for broke" to just "Go broke."

» Disgruntled public school teachers, chanting during a protest at the Capitol: "If we don’t get no contract, you don’t get no peace." Either way, our educators don’t got no grammar.

» Mayor Kirk Caldwell on complaints about foul odors from the Ala Wai when a sewer pipe was removed: "I would be surprised if it’s anything with sewage. I think it’s just the natural smells." This is a nose trained by the city rail project.

» City Council Chairman Ernie Martin on rudeness by Council meeting attendees: "I do not appreciate condescending body language or chatter while the Council members are making comments." I agree. It’s common courtesy to hold your laughter until they finish their comments.

» Former Lt. Gov. James "Duke" Aiona on his future plans: "I’m not saying ‘no’ and I’m not saying ‘yes’ to running for governor in 2014. That’s not a political answer. That is an honest answer." Isn’t it a shame there’s a difference?

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Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.