Abercrombie update spurs ‘Snooze Day in Hawaii’

The state served up an economic storm and the city fouled our air as we "flASHback" on the week’s news that amused and confused:

» Gov. Neil Abercrombie updated his "New Day" plan with a speech warning of a "gathering storm" around state finances. The wind component of the storm was the collective yawn of his constituents.

» With the Sand Island sewage plant at capacity and still no agreement on expansion, the city began trucking 5,000 gallons a day of raw sewage sludge to Honouliuli. If you don’t smell them first, you can tell the city’s honey wagons by the bumper stickers that say, "Yesterday’s meals on wheels."

» An aggressive Hawaiian monk seal tagged to be euthanized at Kure Atoll was nowhere to be found when a federal agent arrived to do the deed. That’s right out of Mayor Peter Carlisle’s survival guide: When the stink rolls toward you, go travelling.

» The Hawaii Tourism Authority unveiled an iPhone app to help visitors find unique local attractions to see. They can get the latest listings on hula shows, torch-lighting ceremonies and homeless feedings in Kapiolani Park.

» Republican Charles Djou said he’ll start a campaign to win back the U.S. House seat he lost to Colleen Hanabusa as soon as he returns from a six-month Army Reserve deployment to Afghanistan. There’s no denying that combat training could come in handy in the current climate on Capitol Hill.

» GOP presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich raised eyebrows with a Maui campaign stop after his poor finish in the Iowa straw poll, and Vice President Joe Biden scheduled a speech here on the way back from his Asian trip. They’re racing to be the first politician who can say he’s misspoken in all 50 states.

» Personal data for 2,000 Kapiolani Community College students disappeared in the latest security breach that left the University of Hawaii system open to identity theft. I thought you went to college to find your identity, not lose it.

» Space scientists will meet here in November to discuss building a facility in Hawaii to prototype a future research park on the moon. It’s a natural fit. We have the topography, the geology and a dark side.

» Trendy clothier Abercrombie & Fitch offered to pay cast members on the lowbrow "Jersey Shore" TV series to stop wearing its shirts. The next step is getting Neil Abercrombie to change his name to T.J. Maxx.

And the quote of the week … from Charles Djou, re-branding himself as a congressional moderate: "We need people who are in the middle of the aisle who can talk to both Democrats and Republicans alike." The trick is speaking in tongues to the Republicans and in nursery rhymes to the Democrats.

Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.