Ten years after former Hawaii resident Richard Lee died in the attacks of Sept. 11, his wife, Karen Lee, says she feels the loss of her husband “every moment of every day.”

She says she endures the pain of each Sept. 11 anniversary — and the inevitable calls from journalists seeking comment — in part because she feels it is important for the nation to recall the horror of that day and to resist the temptation to lower its collective guard.

“We need to remember because it shocks us out of complacency,” Lee said in an email to the Star-Advertiser. “It wakes us to the fragility of life and the need to appreciate every moment. It wakes us to the horrors of evil and the need to stand against it. It reminds us we must be vigilant to prevent the same tragedy.”

Richard Lee was a graduate of Punahou School and Yale University, where he played football. At the time of his death, he was employed at Cantor Fitzgerald, where he led a staff of computer programmers who developed software and trading systems.

Lee said she draws strength from her memories of her time with her husband and from the way their son Zachary, who was just 1 year old on Sept. 11, exhibits so many of his father’s traits.

“On Sept. 11, my world, my happiness, my dreams were destroyed so abruptly and painfully that life itself lost meaning for me,” Lee wrote. “It has been a struggle, but I managed to emerge from the despair by focusing on what a wonderful gift the time we had together was, rather than on the pain of loss. I wouldn’t trade one minute of the time I shared with Rich for anything, even a life without sorrow, because in the end, the worst sorrow is to never have loved. I am fortunate to have had that glimpse of heaven in my life, to know that Rich will always be with us and to have our son, now 11, to keep me going.”

Zachary Lee is scheduled to speak at a memorial assembly at his school. In his speech, which Karen Lee shared with the Star-Advertiser, Zachary explains how he has come to know his father through his family and Richard Lee’s former staff and co-workers.

“I know how much he cared about people — his family, my mother and me, and the people he worked with and managed. … How hundreds of pictures of me were posted on his office wall. I know how he loved me because I’ve seen home videos and pictures of him playing with me and hear him speaking to me from the clock that chimes with his voice every hour, and from the handmade wooden toy box and bookcase I still have.

“And I know he tried very hard to make work interesting, exciting and meaningful for everyone who worked for him — that he was their teacher and friend, not just their boss. I know because of the many letters I got from people who’d worked for him over the years … telling me how he had inspired them, helping them personally through difficult times and mentoring them in their careers. And I know because of the gifts I receive for my birthday and at Christmastime from people I don’t really know, sent because they want to hold on to a connection with someone they looked up to and loved. I don’t know just what happened on 9/11, but I’m sure there were dozens of people looking to my father to know what to do, and that he did his best to protect his work family, and that they were not alone.”