Snakes, lizards turned in, but councilman runs free

A councilman went viral on video and the governor got lost in his logic as we "flASHback" on the week’s news that amused and confused:

» City Councilman Tom Berg denied police reports that he was intoxicated in a video that showed him railing at Secret Service agents who wouldn’t let him retrieve a cellphone he left under his chair at an APEC reception. He must have dropped it when he was under the table.

» In the video, Berg called one federal agent a "pathetic flea on American society," and another agent who later observed him stumbling around reported the councilman asked, "Are you one of those federal f—— pigs?" His best chance of re-election is if his district is reapportioned to include Guantanamo.

» Berg said he was passionate about getting his phone back because he needed it to keep in touch with his constituents. As if it isn’t bad enough to get a call from a councilman when he’s sober.

» The city is considering engineering changes to shorten trains and stations for the $5.17 billion Oahu rail project. If the system was built to the scale that 6-foot-7 former Mayor Mufi Hannemann wanted, Peter Carlisle would have to sit in a booster seat.

» A new Vatican recommendation has left Hawaii just one step away from gaining a second saint. All Dan Ino­uye has to do is perform the miracle of actually delivering the promised $1.5 billion federal share for the rail project.

» University of Hawaii football coach Greg McMackin retired after a 6-7 season and agreed to a buyout of $600,000 instead of the full $1.1 million his contract entitled him to. It’s a win-win: UH gets a head start on paying a new coach, and Mack only has to do half as much nothing for his money.

» Hawaiian Airlines executives said they’re considering customer requests to set a kamaaina fare for local travel. One idea is to let you visit tutu at a cut rate if she signs over her life insurance to them.

» A woman turned in five illegal boa constrictors and two lizards to the Hawaiian Humane Society in the largest haul yet under an amnesty program. The poor things have no natural habitat in Hawaii except City Council chambers.

» And a double quote of the week … from Gov. Neil Abercrombie in a Star-Advertiser interview on his bumpy first year:

First: "My whole career has been built on people forgiving me, if you will."

Then later: "There’s only one thing worse in politics than being wrong, and that’s being right, because people will forgive you for being wrong, but they’ll almost never forgive you for being right."

So by his own reasoning, his whole career has been built on being wrong.

Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.