In the last moments of a person’s life, no one knows whether he or she will face death with serenity or in terror, even if he or she believes heaven is on the other side, chaplain Clarence Liu said he has found in his 40 years of ministry.

He has seen people who have been religious all their lives, and claim to not fear dying, still be afraid on the precipice of death.

"You’ll only know when you’re there," said Liu, who has comforted many patients in their final moments of life as chaplain of Hospice Hawai‘i, assuring them that "I will be with you no matter what happens."

"All I can do is try to try just to walk with them, which is the most difficult thing, and reassure them, and by the power of my presence, by the power of compassion, I might, might be able to relieve their suffering," he said.

For those tormented by what will greet them in the afterlife, Liu said he tries to be honest. "I will not be able to relieve suffering by just telling a happy story," he said in an interview.

Liu retired Aug. 1 as chaplain of Hospice Hawai‘i, which offers palliative care to people who are dying. Prior to taking that position in 2000, he was a Catholic priest for 20 years before leaving the diocese to become executive director of Homeless Aloha in 1991 and chaplain for the Hawaii State Hospital in 1994.

Though retired, Liu still faces the challenges of helping his parents, ages 96 and 89, through their increasing frailty and "honor their dignity." He described his parents as old-school who avoid talking about dying or their fears because they don’t want to make themselves or others sad.

"You have to learn how to live with that and not be intrusive, but you also have to watch" and "wait for openings" to talk, he said.

Liu, 68, began in hospice work to help his parents cope with aging, but "what it really came down to was an awareness of my own mortality and my own fragility, and grieving the many, many losses that we go through."

Liu said some patients have religious beliefs that cause them to fear punishment or an eternity in hell. The most frequently asked question of him was, What happens after I die? He would answer that no one knows for sure, but when pressed, Liu would tell them that great religious teachers have said that "there is a forgiving God, that love triumphs."

"I love Mits Aoki’s statement and it rings true. He said over and over and over in his class, if there’s one thing you remember, it’s you don’t have to be afraid when you die. … You don’t have to be afraid of the devil and the fire," said Liu, referring to the late Mitsuo Aoki, a University of Hawaii religion professor.

Liu called Aoki, the United Church of Christ minister who founded Hospice Hawai‘i, "the great guru in terms of death and dying,"

Liu said, "I see two things happen in dying. I see great fear; I also see great love. In all religions love is stronger than any fear. … Ultimately, love triumphs. If I live in a way that is truthful, loving and compassionate, it will all work out, and all I can do is try to be compassionate for people who can’t see that yet."

While Liu says "my spirituality is very deeply Christian, very deeply Catholic," he said he does not agree with traditional beliefs about purgatory and hell.

To Liu the deeper meaning of purgatory is paying the consequences or karma accumulated during a person’s lifetime while on earth, not different levels of punishment in the afterlife.

And of hell, "I cannot understand a parent who would damn their child, no matter what they did, to everlasting punishment. If any parent wouldn’t do it, then why the hell do you think God would?" Liu said.