I’m an optimist. So when I hear stories of painful things that happen to people, I look for the silver lining. What is the gift that is wrapped in that tragedy?
One person in Hawaii who has found that gift is Roy Sakuma, who has taught thousands to play the ukulele.
"I thought I would go through life sharing my passion for the ukulele and loving what I was doing," Sakuma said, "I never thought I’d do anything else. But five years ago something happened. One morning I heard an inaudible voice inside — a calling — that directed me to go to schools.
"I went to a school to talk to third-graders and took my ukulele, thinking I was supposed to play, but I put my ukulele down after just one song and I didn’t pick it up until the end of the talk."
What Sakuma shared with them is that he had been a broken child. "If you put me in a group of 1,000 kids, I don’t know if any suffered more than me.
"I grew up with a mentally ill mother, a mentally ill brother that tried to kill me when I was 9. The police took my 17-year-old brother to a mental hospital. I barely got out of the house alive.
"As early as kindergarten," Sakuma continues, "I was cutting out of school. I started smoking cigarettes at 7. I started drinking at 10. I was in detention home for a while. I was on probation for two years. I was kicked out of intermediate school in the ninth grade and never finished my education.
"I hated the world. I used to walk down the street saying, ‘I hate you, God,’ over and over. Learning to play the ukulele was my saving grace. When I grew up I realized I didn’t hate God. I hated myself.
"I understand now why I went through all these struggles. When I sit down with children, I can automatically see the pain in them.
"Midway through my talk in schools, I ask, How many of you are hurting? How many of you are struggling inside?
"Kids hold it in, and not even their parents know they are struggling. In nearly every school 90 percent raise their hand. Ninety percent are hurting. My role is to take that out of them.
"My job is to tell the kids that they can share with their parents, that they will listen. Most kids tell me no, they’re not going to listen, they don’t understand me, my parents will get mad at me, they don’t care about my feelings, they always put me down.
"I have to explain to them that most parents do care."
Sakuma has received letters from more than 1,000 kids who have said the talk changed their life.
"Hundreds of kids have come to me and break down, and say, ‘Help me. I’m struggling,’" he said.
"Practically every child feels they’re alone in their hurt, so the first thing I do is share with them my hurt and the things in my life that have brought me here today.
"I never knew what love was, but I met a girl in my 20s. We started dating and I realized I loved her. After a year and a half, I asked Kathy to marry me. She said yes.
"I went home so happy, but the next morning I was crying. This is the only girl in my life that I ever said ‘I love you’ to, but I’m going to have her walk away from me.
"We went out, and I told her I was a total fake. I’m faking I’m happy. I’m faking that I’m a good guy. Everything I do in front of you, I’m faking."
Sakuma shared all his insecurities with her.
"It took two days. I told her the most intimate things about myself, the things I hated. The shame was so deep, I had trouble finding words.
"I wanted to give her every reason to walk away," he said "After I told her everything, the first words out of her mouth were, ‘I never saw it as your weakness. I see it as your strength.’
"Wow. What a beautiful thing to hear from a young girl. Years later she told me, ‘I saw your heart at that moment.’ We’ve been married now for 37 years. She’s the love of my life.
"It’s very clear to me now that my childhood experience with mental illness and my life’s work with the ukulele has led me to sharing my painful experiences to help others, especially children.
"Redefining weakness as a strength redirected my negative thoughts. I want children to see that their weaknesses are strengths, too."
In 1971 Sakuma founded the Ukulele Festival, with assistance from the city Parks and Recreation Department. The festival is now a summer tradition.
The 43rd annual festival takes place Sunday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the Kapiolani Park Bandstand. Almost a thousand will perform, and thousands more are expected to attend this free event.