Memorials out of line

Some well-meaning and creative additions to the graves of loved ones at the orderly Hawaii State Veterans Cemetery are resulting in some undignified disorder at the final resting place for 10,411 veterans and dependents.

State officials say statuettes, concrete planters, flagpoles that are too tall, garden solar lights and tents erected over grave markers have become a recurring problem at the Kaneohe cemetery.

In an effort to make their relatives’ graves stand out, some folks have trenched around plots, while others have built them up with wheelbarrows of dirt and layers of sod.

That’s in addition to the occasional visitor who mistakenly believes the veterans cemetery is a good place to barbecue or wash a car, officials said.

It’s all become a bit much, and the cemetery is gently trying to re-emphasize the rules to those who regularly pay their respects yet find the need to create the equivalent of a roadside memorial.

"It is hallowed ground, and at the same time, you want to be compassionate to the families and understand that it’s a grieving process for them," said Lt. Col. Chuck Anthony, a state Defense Department spokes­man. "But again, there are standards, particularly for veterans cemeteries, and one of the standards is that the grounds are maintained and kept in a fashion that is respectful to all."

Ron Han, director of the Office of Veterans Services, said word was spread over the last six months to veterans groups that the memorialization rules need to be followed at the cemetery.

Burials are growing, meaning more families are exercising graveside creativity. There were 566 burials just in the last year, Anthony said. The cemetery opened in 1991.

Signs have gone up reminding visitors of cemetery requirements, and fliers are being handed out.

Han said one creative addition begets another — to the point the cemetery felt it had to embark on a public education campaign.

"(Some may say), ‘That guy had it up there for a few years — I’m going to do the same thing because nothing happened to him, so it must be all right,’" Han said Thursday. "So that’s why we kind of take the onus on us that we really need to find a way to educate, use a soft approach, make people understand (because) they may not know, and give them the opportunity to comply."

One small American flag and one small state flag are OK, said Willie Hiro­kane, the cemetery’s operations manager.

Bronze in-ground flower vases or temporary plastic vases also are acceptable.

Putting up a temporary tent over other graves during a visit definitely is not OK, officials said. Also not allowed was the 6-foot flagpole with a large Marine Corps flag that went up on one grave site.

Trinkets are not supposed to be left, but lots of them are.

The marker of a Marine who died at age 72 in 2008 was adorned with three plastic dinosaurs that were each several inches tall, two golf balls, a baby toy and a blue heart with "I (heart) U Papa" on it.

A bottle of Heineken was placed on another marker. Lots and lots of flowers are left on the graves. Pinwheels that blow in the breeze are a favorite, too.

Hawaii Administrative Rules, Chapter 7-32-10, which is listed on cemetery information posted to an Office of Veterans Services Web page, states, "Except for flowers, no person shall memorialize a gravesite for any reason or do anything to distinguish one gravesite from another."

Work crews periodically remove the trinkets and store them for 30 days. Hiro­kane said some will retrieve the items and put them right back on the grave.

Instead of mowing the grass, the cemetery has to use weed whackers around many of the in-ground markers, Hiro­kane said.

"It creates a lot of work, extra work for us," he said.

Georgette Ralar, 39, whose grandparents are buried at the cemetery, said, "You can walk down and ‘Look at that, and look at that (grave decoration),’ and it’s cool."

But if it comes down to the military saying follow the rules, families should obey, she said.

Tina Tabogadir, 32, who was visiting her husband’s grandmother’s grave, said "it’s interesting to see how each grave has their own little things," adding, "I don’t look at it as an eyesore or anything."

But she too said she understands that rules are rules, and the grave additions may have to end.

The cemetery staff tries to keep an eye on things during the week, while roving security patrols are used over the weekend.

Han said letters are sent to those with the most egregious infractions "saying, ‘Hey, you’ve got 30 days to fix this, and if not, we’re going to remove it.’"

Trenching around a grave to delineate the site is one of the actions that are prohibited but done anyway.

"They obviously care a lot about a loved one to do something like this," Han said.

The cemetery just needs to get across that people shouldn’t do that, he added.