A 36-year-old Kauai man sentenced to probation for punishing his son by leaving the 8-year-old along the road to walk a mile home said he just wanted the child to be accountable for his actions.
"I had no intent to harm my son," said Robert De Mond, a Kilauea landscaper who also makes and sells jewelry with his wife and family.
"I wasn’t angry at all," he said. "The way I raise my kids is I want them to be accountable for their actions. … This got blown out of proportion."
One day in late August or early September, De Mond said he arrived with his 3-year-old son at Kilauea Elementary School to pick up his two older boys, ages 6 and 8.
The two older children were in an A+ program at the time, and De Mond said his eldest had been placed in timeout. "I asked him, ‘Why were you in timeout at A+?’" De Mond said. "He told me, ‘I don’t know.’ I asked him again and he said, ‘I don’t know.’"
He said he told his son, "‘I don’t know’ is not an answer. You need to take responsibility for your actions. There has to be a reason that you were placed in timeout."
De Mond said he would have talked to the teacher, but she was busy and he also had his 3-year-old, who had just gotten up from a nap, in his arms. "I figured he knew why he was in timeout," he said.
He said that a mile from their home, he dropped his son off and asked him to "please walk home. When you walk home, you will have an answer better than ‘I don’t know.’ And when you do come home you’ll have an answer," he said.
De Mond said the stretch of the two-lane roadway — Kuhio Highway — is in a safe, rural area with acre-size agricultural lots and a wide shoulder, 10 to 25 feet wide, where it’s not uncommon to see people walking or riding their bikes.
When De Mond got home, he said he turned around and within five minutes was back at the location where he dropped off his son.
"I was hollering his name and he’s nowhere to be found," he said.
De Mond called his wife at work.
"I went back and forth three times along the road," he said. "At this point I’m pretty frantic."
He called police dispatch and learned police had his son at the school. De Mond and his wife arrived at the school not knowing how or why his son got there.
"I wanted to see my son to see if everything’s OK and talk to my son," he said.
Instead, he realized he was going to be arrested.
He learned that one of his neighbors found the boy, took him to school and called police.
"It’s been pretty hard on the kids," De Mond said. "I just wanted to get it over with, so I pleaded no contest" to second-degree child endangerment.
He was sentenced to probation, a $200 fine and parenting classes.
De Mond said his final court hearing on the matter was Wednesday, but he is continuing to take parenting classes.
He said it has also been difficult for his wife and him, especially since he coaches kids’ soccer and football sports.
"I’m a pretty big figure in the community for multiple sports," he said. "For me getting through this and past it was my concern. It’s made me a stronger person and made me think about being a parent a lot more.
"It also puts me in a spot," De Mond said. "I’m happy to be accountable for my actions if I’m going to preach and tell that to my kids."
De Mond eventually learned why his son was in timeout.
He returned to the school with his son the following day and asked the A+ teacher, who explained he and two others were name-calling.
De Mond has learned his lesson, too.
"I will do things a little differently," said De Mond, who does not spank his children. "I would handle the matter in a different way. The thought never crossed my mind I would be going to jail."
He’s also learned the law is "such a gray area."
