The question was whether the panelists had ever used their diplomatic skills to handle a difficult conversation at home.

"I am not a confrontationist," replied South African archbishop emeritus and iconic apartheid resistor Desmond Tutu, drawing a roar of laughter from the crowd.

"No, no," Tutu persisted. "In my natural …"

"Silence," came the playful command from the distinguished woman to his left, Gro Harlem Brundtland, former Norwegian prime minister and director-general of the World Health Organization.

"Gro," Tutu said, taking mock offense. "I’ve been nice to you."

It was a light moment, one of many, in a panel discussion featuring members of the Elders world peace group that touched on international conflict, human rights violations, nuclear proliferation and other weighty topics.

Sunday’s forum was the last of three public appearances in Hawaii by Tutu, Brundtland and Pakistani human rights activist Hina Jilani. The three highly influential leaders were invited by Pillars of Peace Hawaii, an initiative of the Hawaii Community Foundation, with support from Pierre and Pam Omidyar.

Jilani set the tone early when, asked what people could do to promote peace in the world, she replied, "Either be engaged or don’t complain."

And indeed the sold-out crowd at the Hawai‘i Convention Center’s Liliu Theater remained steadfastly engaged as the three Elders fielded questions from the public that were submitted via Facebook and Twitter and read by moderator Leslie Wilcox.

Several of the questions touched on the intersection of the Elders’ public and private lives.

Asked how he is able to maintain his sense of humor despite the serious issues he confronts, Tutu quipped, "I think part of it is having to survive with my wife and children."

Considering the question more seriously, Tutu acknowledged the broad support he has received, from his long fight against apartheid to his time as chairman of South Africa’s history-making Truth and Reconciliation Commission to the present.

"I know that I am being prayed for," Tutu said. "I know there are many, many people who uphold me. I’m sometimes surprised at how smart I turn out and actually, seriously, it isn’t my achievement. I believe that old lady in a village church who says, ‘God, help him,’ she doesn’t know maybe which way, but because she says so I get to be inspired. And I have to remember that I was smart only because of them."

Some of the most moving testimony was borne by Jilani, who recalled the threats, abuse, imprisonment and assassination attempts she survived as she fought for the rights of women, children, minorities and prisoners in her native Pakistan.

Jilani said the moral imperative of her work and the unwavering support of her family — even after they endured a kidnapping at the hands of her enemies — has "given me the capacity to bear the hate."

In response to a question about how women in the United States can help to support the advancement of women in other parts of the world, Jilani said "it is not the status of being developing that make women vulnerable to discrimination, to inequality and to violence" and that it is the responsibility of all women "to raise our voice and never hesitate to bring pressure, especially where women living in environments where there are no freedoms available to them, to mobilize public opinion to support their causes in their own countries."

She added, "International public opinion, I can say, has saved my life several times. My imprisonment at certain times has ended not because the rulers wanted to do it but because there was too much pressure — not just coming from foreign leaders, but from women in foreign countries and women’s organizations."

Brundtland recalled her own experiences dealing with the backlash that followed her becoming the first female prime minister in Norway’s history.

"It was seen to many to be radical back in 1981 and people who didn’t share my party’s views, my way, and my Social Democratic views (used) my being a woman to try to attack my party and what I stood for," Brundtland said.

Brundtland said she persevered in part because she knew that stepping down would be a blow to the cause of gender equality in her country and in part so that the next female prime minister would not have to face the same treatment. She earned a measure of bittersweet vindication last year when Erna Solberg was appointed prime minister.

Solberg is a member of Norway’s Conservative Party.

While much attention was focused on political turmoil and social injustices, Brundtland reminded the audience that public engagement has led to progress on many fronts.

Refering to the United Nations’ Millennium Development Goals, Brundtland said, "What has happened is that we have seen great improvements in child mortality, in infectious diseases, in the vaccination of children, (and) in improvements in education for girls.

"All of these achievements really are movements toward a greater potential for peace."

Tutu sounded a similar tone in his concluding assertion that a just and inclusive world is possible if people assume the shared perspective of members of the same family.

"We didn’t think that slavery could be abolished — it was almost universal — but it’s happened," he said. "We didn’t think that women would come to be recognized as equals with their male counterparts. It’s happening. We didn’t think that we would see the day when Nelson Mandela would walk out of prison. It happened.

"Yeah, it’s perhaps utopian," Tutu said. "Why not? Why not?"