Endings rarely go well in politics. State funerals and crushing defeats end political careers in ways filled with bad feelings.

It is best to leave a winner.

"Graceful exiters are highly motivated," Hawaii’s own David Heenan writes in his book, "Leaving on Top, Graceful Exits for Leaders."

That departure, Heenan says, is "one of life’s most formidable challenges."

An example of the way to take your leave with dignity, class and aloha was that given by retired U.S. Sen. Daniel K. Akaka, who will celebrate his 90th birthday on Thursday.

"For most elected officials, their entire identity is tied up in politics. To re-pot, to go from 100 to zero is unthinkable. Yet to his credit, Akaka bears no trace of the sadness and lack of purpose that hang over many once-powerful men in their later years," Heenan wrote.

Akaka was a presence in the campaign of state Sen. David Ige, who toppled Gov. Neil Abercrombie, a veteran politician with 40 years of elections behind him.

By his own admission, the 2014 campaign was to be Abercrombie’s last, although he planned it as a victory, not a loss.

Now in defeat, Abercrombie is still working through how he became the first Democratic governor in Hawaii to be turned out by his fellow Democrats.

Last week he said it was not a loss by those in his party; the defeat came from outside the tent. Speaking with national and foreign journalists at an East-West Center seminar, Abercrombie said the right wing crept in to punish him for backing same-sex marriage.

"Republicans crossed over en masse to vote in the Democratic primary, and then the religious factor came in," Abercrombie said.

Characterizing himself as a principled political martyr, Abercrombie told the journalists: "Doctrinally I was outside the circle and paid for it."

True, one year ago Abercrombie called a special legislative session to rewrite state law allowing same-sex couples to legally marry, but he was not alone in the drive for marriage equality, nor was his support a secret.

When he was in Congress, then-Rep. Abercrombie was always one of the first to testify before legislative hearings considering same-sex or civil union measures. And last year, Abercrombie was poised to sign a marriage bill into law, but it was brought up to him because the Legislature approved it.

Among those who approved it was Abercrombie’s opponent, David Ige.

Evangelical Christian voters picked up Democratic ballots to vote against Abercrombie, the governor reasoned, "because they were admonished to do that by their religious leaders."

"I’m a Democrat through and through. And I believe in equality and opportunity and justice. And if that is something that cannot be accepted in a given instance, and it cost me politically — things like that have cost me before — so this time it cost me the primary election," Abercrombie said.

Republicans are now more than happy to point out that before the vote, they sent out email blasts and press releases urging GOP voters to vote only in the Republicans’ primary.

"The Democrats did it to him, not the Republicans," said Pat Saiki, Hawaii GOP chairwoman. "He was not the leader they wanted and they took out their wrath on him.

"I am sorry to see him go this way. He is a nice guy and we are good friends, but I think the power got to his head," Saiki said in an interview.

If backing same-sex marriage can cost you an election, like Abercrombie reasons, Saiki may want to send the governor a "Thank You" card, because his analysis now hurts Ige and strengthens the GOP’s James "Duke" Aiona and Independent candidate Mufi Hannemann.

Richard Borreca writes on politics on Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Reach him at rborreca@staradvertiser.com.