In a Potty Camp video posted five months ago, smiling toddlers cheer "potty power!" and play with toilet paper at a hotelroom at the Ilikai Hotel in Waikiki.
Rebecca Stapp of Maui, who runs the camps, says she has potty-trained more than 2,700 children as young as 8 months old and in less than three days.
Her slogan is, "The first day of potty camp is the last day your child will wear a diaper!"
There was so much demand for Stapp’s services that $600 sessions were offered on Oahu and filled up two to three months in advance. She also offers private classes, phone consultations and a money-back guarantee.
Honolulu mom Cora Spearman, a fashion designer and founder of the Coradorables children’s clothing brand, said Stapp’s program worked for her eldest daughter, Belle, 4, when she went in July 2013.
"In my experience, it worked and I would pay for it again," said Spearman, who chronicled the experience on Facebook. "She was kind and patient."
But now Stapp, 39, stands accused of third-degree assault after a mother reported suspicious bruises on her 17-month-old son’s thighs and back that allegedly occurred during a Potty Camp in May 2013 at Stapp’s home in Waiehu, Maui. The nonjury trial began Jan. 14 and is scheduled to resume Wednesday in Wailuku District Court.
Stapp has pleaded not guilty. Her attorney, David Wiltsie, declined to comment because of the ongoing trial.
The case has put a spotlight on the effectiveness of intensive potty training methods and how fast and how soon children can be potty-trained.
Kathy Bentley, a parent educator with degrees in psychology and counseling, said many working parents are under intense pressure to get their child’s potty training done early.
"It’s really hard to find preschool for children who are not potty-trained," said Bentley, owner of Kathy’s Parenting Solutions. "So what we’re getting is families that are rushing their children before they’re ready."
She said children need to be developmentally ready for the process, and promising to complete potty training in three days could set up both parents and kids for a lot of frustration.
Gina French, a pediatrician at Kapiolani Medical Center for Women & Children, agreed.
"It creates an expectation for the parents that they’re going to get what they paid for, that you can pay for this and just get it," she said.
STAPP, a stay-at-home mom, started her Potty Camps in 2005. She advertises her services primarily through her website, pottylikerockstars.com, and on Facebook.
She was also featured on Hawaii News Now’s "Sunrise" when anchor Tannya Joaquin’s son, Kai, participated in a two-hour crash-course version of the camp for the show segment that aired in 2011. Joaquin declined to comment about her experience.
On Facebook, Stapp said she prefers to work with children from 11 to 16 months old. She also works with special-needs children.
The American Academy of Pediatricians does not set a definitive age at which to start potty training, but says parents can begin introducing potty concepts to children at 18 months. Many children are ready by 21⁄2, and most by age 3, said a guide on the academy’s website.
The pediatricians group also noted that more child abuse occurs during toilet training than at any other developmental stage, because parents’ expectations often exceed the child’s abilities or understanding.
French cited a wide body of research on toilet training methods ranging from a one-day regimen based on a game, reward and praise model, and the Brazelton "wait and see" approach that could take weeks or months after the age of 2. Methods can also vary from culture to culture.
In French’s opinion, parents do not need to wait until 2 if a child appears ready, nor should they pursue a one-day method if a child is resistant.
"There’s not a single answer," she said.
Heather Wittenberg, a licensed child psychologist on Maui and author of "Let’s Get This Potty Started," does not recommend potty training boot camps.
"It’s a lot of money," she said. "Your child can just as easily be potty-trained at home for free. Parents just don’t have the confidence, but they can choose this."
Wittenberg pointed out there are many different "potty personalities" and that some children can be trained overnight, while it is normal for others to take months, even years. But she does consider 17 months to be on the young side.
Trying to push a child to get potty-trained too soon can lead to frustration and other issues later on such as constipation, and Wittenberg questions the idea of leaving your child with a stranger to learn such an "intimate, personal" process.
But some parents, like photographer Lisa Hoang of Kailua, found success at Stapp’s Potty Camp after trying to get her son out of diapers on their own.
Hoang took her son, Oliver, now 4, to the camp in November 2013, just months after the alleged incident.
"She was very direct in answering questions, and I felt comfortable with her in the whole process," said Hoang, who felt retroactive guilt when she learned of the allegations.
With her two older sons, Hoang had few problems with potty training, but Oliver was a new challenge.
"We tried the chart, the stickers and the jelly beans," she said, referring to the rewards she offered him. "That worked for a week, then after that he didn’t care. Nothing we had tried had worked."
She recalls giving Stapp permission to give her son watered-down juice and receiving photos via text during camp to update her on Oliver’s progress. He emerged from the program potty-trained and had few accidents after that.
While experts might not agree on toilet training methods, they do recommend the child show signs of readiness — the ability to stay dry through a nap, some language abilities and motor skills to pull pants down and up.
French said parents need to understand this important milestone might not happen within a set time frame, whether it be three days or in time for preschool, and that it’s no one’s fault if it takes longer than expected.
"My best advice is relax," she said. "They’re going to use the toilet sooner or later."
