Ige, legislators start session with questions and riddles

It’s a new year, but the same scent is in the air as we "flASHback" on January’s news that amused and confused:

» Gov. David Ige avoided specifics in his first State of the State speech, voicing homilies such as, "Let the end not justify the means but allow us to work through them." It’s a new style of governing called "Riddle me this, Batman."

» Ige, who promised a change from his predecessor’s land development policies, appointed Castle & Cooke lobbyist Carleton Ching as state land director. Instead of handing out candy to developers as Neil Abercrombie did, Ige is giving them the key to the candy store.

» The Legislature opened its 2015 session, and lawmakers said tight money is forcing them to find creative ways to get things done. It’s the same theory as burglary; if they can’t pick a lock, they’ll break a window.

» Mayor Kirk Caldwell’s plea to permanently extend a 12.5 percent excise tax increase for the city’s deficit-ridden rail project drew two hours of hostile questions from state legislators. It unfolded like a stage production of Bob Dylan’s lament, "It Takes a Lot to Laugh, It Takes a Train to Cry."

» The Hawaii Health Connector estimated the state’s troubled health insurance exchange will stop losing money by 2022. That’s when North Korea is expected to have nuclear missiles capable of reaching Hawaii.

» The Hawaii Public Housing Authority is looking at nontraditional options such as micro-units and used shipping containers to increase its inventory of homes. It’s fair housing Hawaii-style: luxury condos for outside speculators and shipping containers for locals.

» A 30-pound tortoise was found plodding in the driveway of a Kaneohe home. Until the owner was located, it was put to work setting the pace for the University of Hawaii’s athletic director search.

» Golfer Robert Allenby said he was kidnapped and mugged after missing the cut at the Sony Open, but the Golf Channel said he was blowing $3,400 at a Kapiolani strip club. A skilled stripper could make a $3,400 motorboating feel like a mugging.

» Hawaiian Electric conducted rolling blackouts on Oahu as the college football championship featuring Hawaii’s Marcus Mariota kicked off. HEI execs couldn’t hear the complaints over the ka-ching of the $17 million in payouts they’ll get from selling the utility to NextEra Energy.

» An appeals court upheld Kauai attorney Lawrence McCreery’s harassment conviction for licking a female client’s ear. The only thing worse than a lawyer with a forked tongue is a lawyer with a wet tongue.

» And the quote of the month … from David Ige in his State of the State: "Building a good home takes time, money and skill." Until we get some of those, we’ll have to make do with the Ige administration.

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Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.