For the past four years, I have had the honor of participating in the Lantern Floating Hawaii Ceremony representing all Gold Star Mothers and families worldwide. As I stand at the water’s edge at sunset and release my personalized lantern, my thoughts and prayers recognizing my loved one and so many others who can’t be there are also in my thoughts. It is a precious moment for me. It is difficult finding the right words to write, being able to express all the feelings of sadness and loss and yet wanting to remember and celebrate the happiness of the vibrant life we shared as the lanterns are set to be released.

As I stand at the water’s edge and wait for the right moment to let go, my heart is filled with emotions for my son Toby and the 18 other soldiers from his unit who lost their lives during that Iraq deployment. The lantern release is a moment where the focus is on those departed loved ones and it connects me to all others. It is part of our ongoing healing, sad yet uplifting. Being with thousands of others, all sharing these moments, I feel a warmth and a unity along with certain peace and harmony.

On Memorial Day, all over the United States, families are honoring their fallen loved ones.

Here in Hawaii, after the formal sunrise services at special locations such as the National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific at Punchbowl and the Hawaii State Veterans Cemetery, we, the families have additional opportunities to attend events and activities where we can continue to honor and remember them.

Memorial Day has a special significance for families of the departed warriors who gave their lives in service of our country. Though never a day goes by without remembering them, we are able to bond to the ocean that surrounds us here in Hawaii, and there is tranquility and peace as our lanterns drift out toward the horizon.

The greatest casualty that could occur would be for our fallen service members to be forgotten. The mission of the Hawaii Army Survivor Outreach Services (SOS) program is to provide continued support and care for families of the fallen. The SOS ‘Ohana helps to keep the memories of our fallen alive by coming together throughout the year to celebrate and honor their lives and service with various ceremonies and recognitions.

In the weeks leading up to the Lantern Floating Hawaii ceremony, we gather prewritten messages of love to be attached to collective remembrance lanterns for those families unable to participate. We are always happy to share our memories of the amazing lives our loved ones with others.

When the community outside our military gates embraces us with aloha as Na Lei Aloha Foundation and Shinnyo-en have done through the annual lantern ceremony, we are so very grateful for that special opportunity to once again share, celebrate and remember.

Healing happens in many ways, and at sunset at the ocean’s edge, our personal and collective moment of remembrance and love is released and shared with thousands in a moment of peace and reflection.