It’s the last Sunday in September and time to “flASHback” on the month’s news that amused and confused:
>> Local lawyers can’t help dispensaries apply for newly legal state medical marijuana licenses because it still violates federal law, said the Hawaii Supreme Court’s Disciplinary Board. What a legal system: Lawyers can represent organized gangsters, but not organized ganja.
>> Medical marijuana consultant Scott Williams bemoaned the ruling, saying, “Without a lawyer involved, we’re treading water by ourselves.” With a lawyer, they tread water with a shark.
>> Hawaii’s biggest movie production of 2015, the King Kong thriller “Skull Island,” will film on Oahu through the end of the year. Then the 2016 Legislature convenes in January for the sequel, “Numbskull Island.”
>> House Speaker Joe Souki attacked the Ethics Commission staff for merely asking state Rep. Matt LoPresti a question. Souki always had his own idea of what it means for lawmakers’ ethics to be beyond question.
>> WalletHub said Hawaii has one of the “least fair” state tax systems, with our poor the most overtaxed. First the state taxes them onto the streets, then the city confiscates their tents.
>> Councilman Trevor Ozawa filed a complaint after Mayor Kirk Caldwell’s press secretary, Jesse Broder Van Dyke, directed an angry “bulls—” at him as Ozawa prepared for a TV interview. It was the most epic drama since Nicki Minaj called out Miley Cyrus at the MTV Video Music Awards.
>> The city said 3,000 gallons of raw sewage spilled from a manhole on Kalakaua Avenue and reached Ala Wai Canal. The Ala Wai is the only waterway where a sewage spill improves the water quality.
>> The city underestimated last month’s Ala Moana sewage spill by more than 300,000 gallons, but Environmental Services Director Lori Kahikina said it wasn’t announced because “I guess I just didn’t want to confuse the public.” That’s the Caldwell administration’s operating philosophy in a nutshell: If you’re drowning in doo-doo, who cares how deep?
>> A city program to help businesses burned by rail construction — “Shop and Dine on the Line” — isn’t working, merchants say. Why stop with running the public sector broke when you can wreck the private sector too?
>> Police captured a 2-1/2-foot ball python snake in a Pearl City garage. Authorities said it will be shipped to the mainland to be placed in a zoo, a reptile sanctuary or the U.S. Congress.
>> Somebody hacked a digital road sign in Mililani with an offensive message inviting early-morning commuters to lick somewhere private. Don’t give Joe Souki ideas for his next missive to the Ethics Commission.
And the quote of the month … from Randall Iwase, chairman of the state Public Utilities Commission: “I’m not here to make everyone happy with a consensus opinion that’s so watered down it’s meaningless.” That’s Gov. David Ige’s job.
Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.
